all i can

when you're on your own
when you're at a fork in the road
you don't know which way to go
there's too many signs and arrows

you haven't laughed in a while
when you can't even fake a smile
when you feel ashamed
the uniform don't make you brave

all i can do is
love you to pieces
give you a shoulder to cry
when you need it

when the day is long
and the night is coming down on you
when you forget your name
the pleasure can't disguise your pain
and you don't feel the same
i won't forget the love you made

what a lovely day to shape your dreams
and you don't even have to sleep
you can make it what you want to be

you can fly away
you can change your name
have a happy face
it can be so real

all i can do

chantel kreviazuk

meaningful

this christmas is really different
from the previous christmas years

no party organizing
no present buying
no big gatherings
no snow
no christmas tree
no cold weather
no christmas music playing

i began to think about chrismas a different way
to all those celebrating
there are many others
who don't
who can't
who won't

no invitations
no presents
nobody to give to

then what happens

what about doing something meaningful
what about talking about something worth your time
since returning to toronto
i've felt strongly
that it isn't about what we have
or how much of it
or who has this and who doesn't

i'll come back to this...

narration

'i can't do this all on my own
i'm no superman'

the theme song to scrubs

the show cracks me up.
it's a very down to earth show
and human in many ways.

i feel like i do the exact same thing as dr. dorian...
i narrate my life...

__________________________________________________


yesterday i got two christmas cards in the mail
the first one of the coolest cards i've seen
you turn this wheel and the snowflake becomes a star
at first i thought it was more of an advertisement
than a christmas card
then i opened to see that it was from my previous firm
with all their names signed all over

however
my name isn't on the card
and so the people signing the card
don't even know who the card goes out to
as the hundreds they sign
the only thought could be
how many more are there

the second one
honestly i wasn't so impressed
but words from a friend on the inside
make it much more meaningful than the first
it could just as well be a piece of paper with words
and it could well surpass the first

and then
taking a look at the back of the card
it says it was painted by mouth
by someone with disability

the irony
the first made by a large corporation
the second made for charity

__________________________________________________

everyday is made up of tests

some are tests of character
some are tests of fortitude
some are tests of friendship

it's the kid inside of us that keeps us from going crazy
it's the nervous laughter that keeps us sane
it's to help others to let us know we have a purpose
it's to let ourselves be helped so that we are reminded
we can't do everything on our own

christmas eh

still sitting at home
recovering recovering yet again.

a great chance to watch more tv

the christmas tree isn't up for the first time
can't go out to do christmas shopping...
then again
what is christmas really about eh

and that time to contact everybody
and stay in touch may just about fall through.

yea...well...
that's for me not knowing the meaning of rest

i passed another term
never want to come into contact
with that ridiculous course again

finally...my horrible headache is finally gone!
i hope it doesn't come back...
hot and cold hasn't hit me in the past 3 hours.
all i need now is energy.

again

arrr...
sick again...

sucks.

may i

sleep sleep sleep

it's that day of rest i've been wanting
yet i fill it up with multi tasking to death.

up the stairs down the stairs
inside going outside
pack
move
organize
lift
carry

i'm tired.
my throat is sore.
i feel like i'm gonna drop.

no more

no more please...
it comes the time again...
where pressures and stresses lead to bizzare happenings
you wonder why you're doing that
or you wonder how you're doing that

and then in the blink of an eye
it will all be over
and just go...
that wasn't so bad...

it's just the pain and agony right now
to finish

december is always the same isn't it
sort of want time just to slow down
rather than push forward

one thing after the next
as one event requires the next
as if one domino falls to push another

as if the stresses of life
need to come find me now
as if i were standing alone on a small island
with my arms stretched out
screaming pick me

somehow
some way
this is beyond me
and beyond my own comprehension

'in the evening
when the work of the day is done
and you have time to sit in the twilight
and watch the sinking sun
while the long bright day dies slowly
over the sea
and the hours grow quite and holy
with thoughts of me'

somehow
i know in my month off
lacking deadlines
and school...work pressures
i will fall into thoughts...

for now...
i will enjoy the lack thereof.

規勸

攔路雨偏似雪花 飲泣的你凍嗎
這風褸我給你磨到有襟花
連調了職也不怕 怎麼始終牽掛
苦心選中今天想車你回家
原諒我不再送花 傷口應要結疤
花辦鋪滿心裡墳場才害怕
如若你非我不嫁 彼此終必火化
一生一世等一天需要代價

誰都只得那雙手 靠擁抱亦難任你擁有
要擁有必先懂失去怎接受
曾沿著雪路浪遊 為何為好事淚流
誰能憑愛意要富士山私有
何不把悲哀感覺 假設是來自你虛構
試管裡找不到它染污眼眸
前塵硬化像石頭 隨緣地拋下便逃走
我絕不罕有 往街裡繞過一周
我便化烏有

情人節不要說穿 只敢撫你髮端
這種姿態可會令你更心酸
留在汽車裡取暖 應該怎麼規勸
怎麼可以將手腕忍痛劃損
人活到幾歲算短 失戀只有更短
歸家需要幾里路誰能預算
忘掉我跟你恩怨 櫻花開了幾轉
東京之旅一早比一世遙遠

你還嫌不夠
我把這陳年風褸
送贈你解咒

富士山下
eason chan

_______________________________________________

one week left...
hang in there...

figures

who decides that these figurines actually get made?
haha...
a lot of time goes into designing
manufacturing
packaging...
couldn't they think of something better?

the soccer player on the left is called chocolo
the only one with a differnet ethinicity
in the whole group of collectible soccer players
from the snack...and we got it!
as for the one on the right
we decided would be chocolo's admirer
we deem these two figures as trophies

but that's to the loser of blokus...
loser trophies...haha...

copenhagen

this is where i may be working
in less than a year

_________________________________________________

the 'who knows what will happen'
phrase has appeared in many instances lately

it's unreal that there are only two weeks left
i seem to think i have a plan in my head
of how things will work out
seems alright for now
i can still hold down the fort

better now from all the sick
definitely did get plenty of rest
after all
that's what getting sick is about

_________________________________________________

the topic on my mind is this
growing up

places i've been
things i've done
i've had my family
i've had great friends
i've always had somebody to rely on

in the family
being the youngest
definitely has the notion of being protected
i've always been protected

haha...
today i got
'he's really growing up...awww...'
haha...
hai...

growing up.
it's like
a tug-of-war
one side pulling
the other pulling back

i want to know that i can handle
yet i need to know
that if i fall
i'll be caught
part of me needs to prove it

because i know
what i'm capable of
my thoughts have been here
for more than two years

words strung together
in my mind they make sense.

_________________________________________________


in two weeks
i'll be leaving halifax

who would reject
the best of both worlds

for me
it's been jumping back and forth
between two worlds

get used to one
go back to the next

i've grown accustom
to a life here in halifax
i've been really fortunate
it's been a smooth ride
thanks to many
and thanks to the one above
always looking out for me

you know...
i will go home
knowing i will wonder
what goes on here

i've thoroughly enjoyed
three terms of school
only that the end of the third
which is now
seems to drag on forever

_________________________________________________

for my upcoming work terms

i first asked to get into one firm
i got in
i felt i was selling myself short
knowing possibly i could be trapped
doing work i know is mundane
and that i've complained about many times before
other aspects would make me want to be in toronto
very comfortable

i then asked for something more interesting
avant garde
i got in
no pay

do i want to work for picasso
for free
do i want to work for my neighbourhood painter
for money
haha...maybe neighbourhood painter is a bit harsh
but this is a neighbourhood painter
going international
the paintings are not as special
but this painter is prolific

contagious

trying to find a song
that will sing out my thoughts
maybe that's why people
start writing lyrics.

when i found a couple lines
that matched
i had to switch out of it.

heavyness is contagious
one after the next.

then i hit this song...

i lived a lot of life
i caught a dream or two
it's been a sweet ride

but i've faced my share of nights
searched like we all do
looking inside

now i'm standing here
because you've made it clear

this heart inside me beats because
you love enough to take my cross
i'm alive
you gave your life to shatter death
so even after my last breath
i'm alive

...next song

i tried to figure it out
time and time again
and time again

i guess there's just some things i'll never understand
because your ways are not our ways
but deep down in my soul
there is one thing that i know

i'm in over my head
right where i want to be
i'm lost within your love
the love that always covers me
so high
so deep
so wide
a strong and cleansing tide
my soul has found a place to rest

i've been holding on
now i'm letting go
just letting go
going to let your love carry me away
i don't know where i'm going
but i'm surrounded by the truth
and i can feel the current pulling me
deeper into you

you see me for who i am
you did reach out your hand
you made me understand

i'm in over my head
right where i want to be
i'm lost within your love

talk

when you think you hit rock bottom
look again...

there's no hot water
no heat
thankfully it isn't too cold

i can't even fathom my school work
or put my mind to it...
before i got sick i was
already i'm pressing myself

coughing till 4am last night
not sleeping
walking around
thinking of any remedy that i could possibly try...
nothing worked...

i searched to listen to my mp3 player...
to put me to sleep...
it had gone missing...
as i've tried to look again...
nowhere to be found

going through the stages of being sick
one symptom at a time...

i can't talk
i felt so feeble...
not being able speak on the phone

when i thought i was getting better
i found out i was headed the other way...
and no...
i don't know how to take care of myself...

and as i know it will only take time
before i will get better

getting sick
has allowed me to know

that many people care
given many words of comfort
thanks...

and when i was hoping for words
of comfort...
a simple...
...
...

one does not
one says i brought it upon myself
one doesn't let me explain

yes...
i make the wrong judgement calls
i know what i've done wrong
i already know...
you rub it in...
you remind me...

for now...
i don't want to talk...
i don't know where to look...
my words just break and melt...

fever

sick

seemed that i was waking every 10 min
when sleeing last night

hot and cold
hot and cold

can't remember the last time i got sick
don' think i have this year

haha...
funny how two people
say that it was because i stare at my computer
too much that i get sick...

what i've done today is watch heroes
and slept...

now that i am well behind in my work...
don't want to push myself...
do what i can...

maybe sleep some more...
aching all over.

car chasin

we'll do it all
everything
on our own

we don't need
anything
or anyone

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and forget the world?

i don't quite know
how to say
how i feel

those three words
are said too much
they're not enough

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's bursting into life

lets waste time
chasing cars
around our heads

i need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

all that i am
all that ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
they're all i can see

i don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things
will never change for us at all

would you lie with me and forget the world?

chasing cars - snow patrol

thoroughly aggitated...

the unexpected

condensed words more impact?
sure...for now

until i can garner up time
to barf out what i have to write.

at this moment
i feel immense pressure
from many sides of life
remembering the juggling analogy
i read before

in my mind
one too many glass pieces in air

first couple of white hairs on my head
reasons can be applied.

mind so compressed.
need to release air valve.

hoping it would get better tonight
yet expectations lead
to dangerous outcomes
of unfufillment

____________________________________________

comes once in a while
good intentions
retured in thrashings

all work put into the publication
gets retured in
i'm not happy you didn't ask my approval
glad roomate is completely on my side
somebody on my side
we fired emails back
and this is extremely damaging on ourselves
and on our own concious
trampled too much already
trampled by one who has been MIA
for 4 months even worse
now with his fingers pointing at us
not getting his approval

when we reply
had to make clear
put all the effort
returned nothing but slack

gave some slack back
maybe not slack
but entire clarification
and an understanding of who shouldn't
be pointing a finger

i wonder the response.
he definitely would have expected that

not in me to be the
one ticked

the unexpected leads to...
where it has led me now

____________________________________________

great theatre ideas
keep pushing and pursuing

protest

tedious
annoying
getting no where
wasted time
frustration...

anti-schoolwork protest and demonostrations
have been taking place in my room today

scramble

feeling mighty pressured and stressed right now...
with one more month of school left
i have still yet to shift into a higher gear
don't know what's gotten into me this term
there's been too much work and rework

my brain's a mess
and i don't know which course to handle first...
because they're all scrambled

it's that time again...
to sleep and just forget about it...
it will have to do for now...
until i figure out some better way...

wave

maybe if i sleep now the day will be over
and perhaps i can pretend things didn’t happen
i am reminded to spend time praying
and to find true rest in my soul

for
waves that have come crashing
reminded me how insufficient i am
waves that wouldn’t give a second thought
of what is being crushed underneath

‘all your waves and breakers have swept over me.’ psalm 42:7

they are his waves
whether they break over us
hiding his face in smothering spray and foam
or smooth and sparkling
spread a path before us
and to our haven bear us safely home

they are his waves
whether for our sure comfort
he walks across them
stilling all our fear
or to our cry there comes no aid nor answer
and in the lonely silence none is near

they are his waves
whether we are hard striving
through tempest driven waves that never cease
while deep to deep with turmoil loud is calling
or at his word they hush themselves in peace

they are his waves
whether he separates them
making us walk dry ground where seas had flowed
or lets tumultuous breakers surge about us
rushing unchecked across our only road

they are his waves
and he directs us through them
so he has promised
so his love will do
keeping and leading
guiding and upholding
to his sure harbour
he will bring us through

bish

52 d k m

i'm getting used to not doing any school work
it's overated anyways
i feel i care less about school
grades especially...
too much school for one year

this is what i'm listening to
http://somafm.com/
'tag's trance trip'
to get myself on top of things...
it's working

____________________________________________


i have plenty of things to catch up on...
#1 is sleep
i was doing so well
until procrastination caught on again

____________________________________________


remembering the smoked salmon...
lamb chops...
cake...cake...
bish bish...

need to win another...

mr pig

________________________________________________

coffee influence
lack of sleep
self inflicted
deadline tomorrow

paranoia.

live up to a name that is created

cloud 10

_____________________________________________

who works on cloud 9 anyways...
definitely not me

want to work...
very tired...
yawn instead
deadlines...deadlines
draw lines...draw lines...

feeling great joy
reminds me
how much pain and suffering it took
to achieve it

you want greater joy?
well then...
you must first decide to suffer greater pain

is it worth it?
it most definitely is.
bring it on.

1 cloud ahead.

dkm | 52

CONGRADULATIONS DKM | 52

we made it!

whoooohooooooooooooooooooooooo!

flash

a week flashes before my eyes
and it's time to quickly...
or very very slowly...
catch up on the work i've left behind

at this moment i'm really enjoying home
with my huge books around me
places to sketch, read, compute
multiple projects spread out
all on the same desk
lots of natural light

knowing that dinner will be cooked for me
it's me and my grandpa home right now
so i can play my music loud
he's upstairs
i'm downstairs
they all will be home soon enough...

it was snowing just a couple minutes ago
now it's sunny
though still freezing outside

off to montreal tomorrow
then to halifax sunday
and then
the fun begins...

catching up on all the school i missed...
arrrrrrrrrr...

haha...
i shouldn't ruin this peaceful moment.

rise again

when i am down
and all my soul so weary
when troubles come
and my heart burden be
then i am still and wait here in the silience
until you come
and sit a while with me

you raise me up
so i can stand on mountains
you raise me up
to walk on stormy seas

i am strong
when i am on your shoulders
you raise me up
to more than i can be

never whole

think.
breathe.
cry.

why do you not want me to be who i am.

cry.
breathe.
think.

change me to be a better person.

think.
breathe.
cry.

i can't pick up the shattered pieces.

cry.
breathe.
think.

i only have one pair of hands.

think.
breathe.
cry.

i never was whole to begin with.

why did i get my answer so soon.
a fire has been lit.
in this i shall burn.
i shall continue to be hurt.

i won't be afraid.

__________________________________________________

o...
the scrapbook you made for me.
today i have made great use of it.

with that first picture being the one in the post
when i am feeling
stressed
sad
lonely
discouraged
home sick
overwhelmed

it has reminded me to keep these in mind...

how far i am willing to walk

when it gets really windy...to hang on tight
the storm will soon pass

too keep dancing
to keep fighting
there's always another way
think outside the box
to eat
to drink
and be merry
someone's load could be bigger than mine
that i have been through a lot worse

that i shouldn't give in to stereotypes
to remember my dreams

to keep on climbing..
don't give up
get lots of rest
don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand
to take a walk on the beach as the sun is setting

home is not that far away

each step you take forwards
brings you closer to the end

to pray

how happy i've made people

happieness is not that far behind

remember all those who support you
and this is the moment where
i could no longer see my screen

remember my accomplishments
remember
there are lessons to be learned
in every challenge
in every experience
never stop learning

remember how happy you were in the end
it will all be worth it one day

thanks o...
i will always keep this gift with me.
it has made me remember...
a much appreciated thanks.

shine more

today is a major day of procrastination
took a nap...
and yes...
it's not like me to take naps...
nor is it like me to skip class for a week...

i'll be leaving again coming saturday
to toronto then to montreal
for a week
which means skipping class

i don't know where i'm finding my inspiration anymore
definitely isn't coming from school...
unmotivated...uninspired...

i have an interview tomorrow in toronto.
i'm unsure where i can go coming january
for my work terms

i'm in a term of self improvement

come on...bring something of a higher level to the table.

'it was good for me to be afflicted' psalm 119:71

it is a remarkable occurance of nature
that the most brilliant colours of plants
are found on the highest mountains
in places that are most exposed to the fiercest weather

the brightest lichens and mosses
as well as the most beautiful wildflowers
abound high upon the windswept storm ravaged peaks

already knowing where these passages are taking me...
i wondered where do i need more qualifying...
in what aspect do i still need to burn
how can i become brighter
i don't know what fires are up ahead
i only hope that i can remember
that after the fire
i will only shine more.

stay true to yourself.
and follow where your heart leads.

further down

if today could be any crappier.

being waken up at 6am is not a great thing
to discover that i've missed something very important
before i went to sleep

and then waken up again by the constant noise
of construction in the apartment.

futher...
it seemed like everyone was doing things slower
to piss me off

without much motivation for my third term of school this year
i've fallen into a trap of not doing anything
probably because the courses are not inspiring

futher...
it's gloomy...windy...and rainy outside...
with small flakes of white stuff floating in the air...
no...it's not snow...
it's probably something toxic...
ah...but what can i do

what i can do is sit here and continue
moping around at how miserable my day is...
it hasn't ended yet

i always do this when these days come around...
i eat mcd's
arr...makes me feel better for those 20 minutes
then back to reality...without those french fries...

is that all i had going today?
french fries?
sadly...yea....

i found it very hard to crack a smile and joke...
riding on a rollercoaster that goes up and down
when's the next up...
because this down is taken me far below

time to get lost in my work and loud music.

right?

back to the blog
when nobody can hear
what this heart screams

an overflow of questions
leads me
to the question of who i am
and if i am a person
who has the capability
to negativly influence others

without a doubt
i have this capablity
we all do

then comes into question
what is negative?
that is subjective

the title
life isn't easy
but learn to enjoy and love

i'm learning the first part of that title
more and more every day

then...
what is love?
and am i even capable to exhibit this
even once a day?

is there much good left in this world?
i believe that i am not one to perpetuate the notion
that there isn't

questioned to be fundamentally incorrect
yet i cannot find it in me
to understand that i am
only i have been seeing through these eyes
only i have been hearing through these ears

notice all the i's
and me's
the selfishness of my thought

ongoing...
the thought
if i'm right
and you're wrong
or
you're right
and i'm wrong
is there no in between?
and is there cause to immediately reject...
ah...the complexities...
do you sit and listen
or do you ache to interrupt with what you believe is right?
do you try to convince because that is assertive
or do you try to convince because you believe
and do you still try to convince
when you know
it would be clash and conflict?

and harsh to ever say
i'm right
you're wrong
nobody likes the latter part
because that is insulting
to however many years of existence
that it has taken to finalize this conclusion

i would be the most naive...
only because i know
that knowing less is always better
yet we always strive to know and learn more

no conclusions have been made
yet many questions have arrived
my innermost intention is not to light a fire
and the chinese saying goes
paper cannot cover a fire

my innermost intention questions
whether one is capable of living
in acceptance to what one believes is fundamentally wrong
and how much it takes to
really live in acceptance
to what one believes is fundamentally wrong

i hope that you believe in me...
i believe in you.
there is a yet...
but if there is acceptance
the yet disappears...
and i hope that i am not a
negative influence on you

all this hope...
left to be realized...
i'm sitting on the edge here...

i'm thankful i get the time
to ponder and talk about these questions

because believe me
haha...
i'm not always right.
just kidding...
i always am.

minutes of relief

come and talk of all the things we did today
hear and laugh about our funny little ways
while we have a few minutes to breathe
and i know that it's time you must leave

darling be home soon
i couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdle
it's not just these few hours
but i've been waiting since i've toddled
for the great relief of having you to talk to

and now a quarter of my life is almost passed
i think i've come to see myself at last
and i see that everlasting moments
have happened in the time i spent with you

so go and beat your head against the sky
try and see beyond the houses
and try to see beyond your eyes
it's okay to shoot the moon

letter

i know somebody who works with kids that have cancer
someone sent him this

'sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon
come out of the operating room.
she said how is my little boy?
is he going to be all right?
when can i see him?"

the surgeon said
i'm sorry
we did all we could
but your boy didn't make it

sally said, why do little children get cancer?
doesn't god care any more?
where were you god
when my son needed you?

the surgeon asked
would you like some time alone with your son?
one of the nurses will be out in a few minutes
before he's transported to the university

sally asked the nurse to stay with her while
she said good-bye to her son
she ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
would you like a lock of his hair?
the nurse asked
sally nodded yes

the nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair
put it in a plastic bag and handed it to sally
the mother said
it was jimmy's idea to donate his body
to the university for study
he said it might help somebody else
i said no at first, but jimmy said
mom, i won't be using it after i die
maybe it will help some other little boy
spend one more day with his mom

my jimmy had a heart of gold
always thinking of someone else
always wanting to help others if he could
sally walked out of children's mercy hospital
for the last time
after spending most of the last six months there
she put the bag with jimmy's
belongings on the seat beside her in the car
the drive home was difficult

it was even harder to enter the empty house
she carried jimmy's belongings
and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room
she started placing the model cars
and other personal things back in
his room exactly where he had always kept them
she lay down across his bed and
hugging his pillow
cried herself to sleep

it was around midnight when sally awoke
laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter
the letter said:

dear mom, i know you're going to miss me
but don't think that i will ever forget you
or stop loving you
just because i'm not around to say i love you
i will always love you mom
even more with each day

someday we will see each other again
until then
if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely
that's okay with me
he can have my room and old stuff to play with
but if you decide to get a girl instead
she probably wouldn't like the same things
you'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like

don't be sad thinking about me
this really is a neat place
grandma and grandpa met me
as soon as i got here and showed me around
but it will take a long time to see everything
the angels are so cool
i love to watch them fly
and, you know what?
jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures
yet, when i saw him
i knew it was him
jesus himself took me to see god

and guess what, mom?
i got to sit on god's knee and talk to him
like i was somebody important
that's when i told him
that i wanted to write you a letter
to tell you good-bye and everything

but i already knew that wasn't allowed
well, you know what mom?
god handed me some paper
and his own personal pen to write you this letter

gabriel is the name of the angel
who is going to drop this letter off to you
god said for me to give you the answer
to one of the questions you asked him
where was he when i needed him?
god said he was in the same place with me
as when his son jesus was on the cross

he was right there
as he always is with all his children
by the way, mom, no one else
can see what i've written except you
to everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper
i have to give god his pen back now
he needs it to write some more names
in the book of life
tonight i get to sit
at the table with Jesus for supper
i'm, sure the food will be great

i almost forgot to tell you
i don't hurt anymore
the cancer is all gone

i'm glad because i couldn't stand that pain anymore
and god couldn't stand to see me hurt so much either
that's when he sent the Angel to come get me

signed with love from: god, jesus & me'

journey

_______________________________________________

my cause for concern
is it a cause for your concern?

if there was not such a purpose for concern
i would not have known how concerned i could be

different roads taken
lead to different roads ahead

as always
they have intersected
paralleled
overlapped
crossed

highways
sidestreets
one-way
two-way
roadblock
proceed with caution
winding
signs everywhere indicating direction

how much further?

driving along
with my lights on high
following you
who is ahead of me

don't go too fast
i try to catch up
the fog is thick
i am concerned

know that i am
slow down
so i won't get lost

or even better...
lets get there together.

far from lost

when everything seems
far away

my strongest line of defense
is a smile i can't hold up
when nobody's looking

and then
when i least expect it
it robs me blindly
when i discover it
at first glance
it seems i have nothing left
i dig deeper into my pockets
and pull out something more
than what is lost

i will adapt to what is gone
yet having it was so great before
only reminds me to cherish
what was in the past
and not take it for granted

when i knew this day
was something eventual
it's always different than how
i pictured it to be
i will make the most of it
as we will continue to strive
higher, farther, greater
no different.

remember the time that was
listening to the song that brings it all back
it's not bad after all
to know that those days lie shortly ahead.

the present
is mere time to make
the future even better.

time and again

it's that time again.

time to pack.
strange.
feels like i've lived halifax
for a very short while
wonder why...
the weather is getting colder
and all signs are pointing directly
back to school

it's the fourth time
i've been back to toronto
since starting my studies
i'm back home every even month
february - one week
april - two weeks
june - one week
august - one month
back again in october - several days
and again in december - several weeks
so i will have been home 1/4 of the year

coming back this time things are different
brother is living in a new home
making me feel like an only child

changes have come
and life has become fresh and new
getting used to it
imagining the future
and realizing the past
that has made the present
and then...
it seems to make sense...

really doesn't feel like i've been home for a month
probably because i've been out
most of the days...
missed some people i wanted to meet up...
always next time.

5600 hours of internship
the count down starts january 2007
bugger.

cheers

a tribute to those who have made this year
much sweeter in many ways.
from a peaceful day at centre island
to a family filled keg steakhouse dinner
to a windy picnic
to a very memorable bbq comparable to last year
to a tasty cheesecake to someone named derek
to photoshopped pictures
through ecards
to real cards...haha...ecards aren't real
to gift cards
i have two new shiny pets
a mountain of new books
a new shirt
lai c's...haha...that is for kj
thank you for making 24 start off so well

______________________________________________


hide me now
under your wings
cover me
within your mighty hand
when the oceans rise
and thunders roar
i will soar with you
above the storm
father you are king
over the flood
i will be still
know you are god.

find rest my soul
in christ the lord
know his power
in quietness and trust
i will be still
know you are god.

reuben morgan

prioritization takes priority

one after the other
never a moments rest
a troubled mind
i keep wondering how i get this far

when i'm down
when my souls in need of rest
come your words
of comfort and of hope
i see your face
always smiling back at me
a stream of light
shining straight to the heart

there's a road
that leads me to this place
a path of love
running straight to the heart

over the years
i've learned one important thing
its that real friends
shall never truly be apart

take this gift
it is all i have to give
a prayer of love
forever straight to the heart

________________________________________________


a day at the hospital
can really set priorities straight
good health is a blessing
and shouldn't be taken for granted

and then
to know that i really have friends
is such a great feeling
that cannot be traded

one thing i vow to change
is to not have people wait for me
i really don't like the feeling
sadly i feel time always works against me

right now
i know i need to take time to finish
my portfolio...
but i also know i need sleep...
need to sit down and relax...

i can't do 4 things at once...
one always trumps the other

one always trumps the other...
that's priorities for you.
what do i value more...
i value my work more than my health
all the way up until something goes wrong.

always the case...
we learn from mistakes...
yet sometimes we never learn
and continue to repeat
what is a mistake anyways...
augh.

i'm quite impressed
with those who work in the hospital
i couldn't do it myself
glad there are people who do
and can still smile and care
for the patients inside

all in all
many lessons possibly learnt for me today.
application is another story...