look no further

I might have been a singer
who sailed around the world

a gambler who wins millions
and spent it all on girls

i might have been a poet
who walked upon the moon

a scientist who would tell the world
i discovered something new

i might have loved a king
been the one to enter war

a criminal who drinks champagne
and never could be caught

but among your books
among your clothes
among the noise and fuss
i've let it go

i can't stop and catch my breath
and look no further
for happiness
and I will not turn again
cause my heart
has found it's home

everyone i'll never meet
and the friends I won't now make
the adventures that they could have been
and the risks i'll never take

but among your books
among your clothes
among your noise and fuss
i've let it go

i can't stop
and catch my breath
and look no further
for happiness
and i will not turn again
cause my heart
has found it's home

look no further - dido

a great privilege

____________________________________

'i think one of the greatest privileges
a person can have
is the opportunity
to work hard at
something that is meaningful to them'

'i have been fortunate and blessed
to be able to
pursue the various lines of work
that are meaningful to me
and to be a part of a family
that i love'

also from
'and you know you should be glad'

i should be glad

one of my hero architects
______________________________________________


another one lost and dropped
because of the work schedule that makes
us lose motivation for things
we really enjoy doing.

______________________________________________

glad you're reading
glad i'm still posting...

______________________________________________

'we all, if we're lucky, have someone
in our lives like Jack - our first friends,
our oldest friends.'

'if we're especially fortunate,
they remain close to us no matter
where the world leads us.'

'we don't have to live in the same cities;
we don't have to see each other on a daily basis.
friendships - especially the oldest friendships -
don't require that.'

'no one knows us better.
no one in our adult lives saw us
the way we first were,
before the inevitable defenses
against a thorny world went up,
before the layers of protective walls
around us were constructed.'

'we didn't invite the arrival of those defenses;
we didn't willingly participate
in the building of those walls.
they come, eventually, with life -
included in the package.'

'we all have someone
who was there before all of that.
if we're lucky, the someone
is with us for a very long time.

excerpted from the book
'and you know you should be glad'

i've long awaited for a book
to bring me back to reading again.
this one is doing the trick.

gone by

days gone by in japan








days gone by in hong kong
__________________________________________________

a summary of days gone by

it's sad to think
that i don't have time for this sort of thing anymore.
writing...
because reading a couple posts back
a couple months and years ago makes me think back
and reignites thoughts

this past week i felt so restless
i became impatient with people i shouldn't have.

i think back to things i said and how i reacted
and sometimes i want to take them back.

for now i'll blame it on the change in weather
and the days getting shorter.

change...
things have changed...
now that i semi live on my own
the family dynamics have changed.

i feel i'm unable to spend enough time with my parents
i enjoy the freedom
and definitely the reduced commute time to less than half
it was before

i sleep more
and i get more done.

my job has been great
coworkers good
bosses good
the creative atmosphere in the office is great
music is played loud for the whole office to hear
and we're all relatively young and very fun
a completely open office
and i got the corner seat with two windows
what more could i ask for
i'm glad i sit beside someone who enjoys talking
and isn't so restrained
because it surely makes the work days go by much faster

sadly our building got bought out and our boss
had to buy another building which is much smaller
and farther away from the city centre.

all the talk right now is about the economy...
even architects are talking economy.
it's so strange.
we'll be in the food court during lunch
with a couple of my coworkers discussing the stock markets
completely clueless of what is going on...

_________________________________________________


i'm not sure if this is good or bad news

the mansion is lost.
the architect has decided to quit.
i'm in an awkward position.

i felt the first loss of a real project.
so much work put in never to see it ever being realized
in real life...
it'll only live on paper.

the architect says she's used to it
that it happens all the time.

paper architecture sucks.
i want to see it built.
i want to learn from it.

_________________________________________________

new job
new place to live
why don't i feel satisfied?
why do i feel miserable and defeated every now and then?

i have the answers
but it's not in my ability to resolve them...

keep praying...

mr wurful

something i really enjoyed watching today:

http://vimeo.com/1710866?pg=embed&sec=1710866

walking away

standing on top of the edge
it feels like it's going down
everything stays in my mind
feeling in a daze on the ground

feels like it's gonna give
life's to hard to live anymore
i think i've had enough things too tough
i'm out the door

all in all it's just another day now
you're falling down
what you gonna do
standing on top of the world tonight
no one's looking back at you

things don't stop
and others announced they're moving on
salt and tears in the minds
in the mouths of a bad decision

too late for another mistake
it's bringing me down
with all your faults
it isn't your fault
what's going on

it'll be a while till you see me
one breaks down and the other ones fade
these eyes can see the days break
too late for the other's mistakes

sit down laugh thinking what have we done
is it all over before it's begun
please give me some time

i can see it your eyes you're hurting
but pain is part of learning who you are
all these truths can sometimes be deceiving
when your whole world comes crashing to the ground

carry on you say
bring the best of today
all i see is struggling on the way

i would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like it was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

what happens when everything is lying on the ground
do you pick up the pieces all around

and if the world should fall apart hold on to what you know
take your chances turn around and go

start to breathe and fake a smile
it's all the same after a while
i know that you are tired
a picture frame with all the thoughts
i know you hold inside

i hope that you can find your way back
to the place where you belong

maybe when the sun crashes through the gray
i can find the strength to make it through the day

no time to cry

when the one thing you’re looking for
is nowhere to be found
and you back stepping all of your moves
trying to figure it out

you wanna reach out
you wanna give in
your head’s wrapped around
what’s around the next bend
you wish you could find something warm
cause you’re shivering cold

it’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
the last thing you say as your saying goodbye
something inside you is crying and driving you on
it’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
the last thing you say as your saying goodbye
something inside you is crying and driving you on

cause if you hadn't found me
i would have found you

so long you’ve been running in circles
around what’s at stake
but now the times come for your feet
to stand still in one place


jonathan rhys meyers - something inside
___________________________________________________


the last night in halifax
and work has taken away time with friends

___________________________________________________


as days go by
and fade to nights
i still question
why you left
i wonder how
it didn’t work out
but now you’re gone
and memories all i have for now
but no it’s not over
we’ll get older we’ll get over
we’ll live to see the day that i hope for
come back to me

i still believe that
we’ll get it right again
we’ll come back to life again
we won’t say another goodbye again
you’ll live forever with me
someday
we’ll be together
someday

i heard someday
might be today
mysteries of destinies they
are somehow
and are someway
for all we know
they come tomorrow
for today
my eyes are open
my arms are raised for your embrace
my hands are here to mend what is broken
to feel again to walk on the face

i believe there is more to life
we’ll be together
someday

john legend - someday

time slips

another month after the last post already
as time slips away.
i think about writing and then forget what it was.

from what i remember in a month...

back at the folks has it's ups and downs.

not having a full time job has been interesting
because i'm on my own schedule
and in some respects i need to have enough discipline
to get the job done.

the home office is nice...
the hours couldn't be better.

i wake up around 10 and procrastinate probably
till 12...by checking email eating breakfast...
and then get into it...and by the time it's 12...
lunch soon follows...

then i pay for it at night when i'm still working
until midnight which is a schedule i'm used to.

even with school and the demanding job...
life has been filled with daily task where the hours vanish
it definitely beats having too much time sitting idle.

i can see myself as a person who takes work home.
workaholic condition developing...haha
maybe not developing...probably inborn.

the convocation cermony happens in three days.
and i feel slightly odd...
is it an accomplishment worth celebrating?
i feel this school is mixed too much with politics
and not enough energy is spent into it's students and
growth in the program.

sometimes it's about who you know and how well you know them.
is this what school is supposed to teach us before we
enter the realm of work?
perhaps.

it also teaches us that in many ways
that you will not always be treated fairly as many
factors other than purely academic.
the system is flawed.
the system is reality.

well then...haha...
after some terrible comments about the school.
let's see

it's the most important week for my roomate
who has his graduation, birthday, and wedding all in one week
don't know how he is so calm and relaxed about it.
i admire his composure and his ability not to plan?
haha

last episode of friends

it feels like the last episode of friends
my roomate said on the night before the flight
and then there was silence

parting is always such sweet sorrow
a short two years
seems like
a fly by
a pit stop
like waiting at an airport
for the next connecting flight
which goes back home.

now that i'm home
i have been making good use of my time
by meeting various people
and going to various places

it seems like a time of mending bridges
that have been left unsupported

i've been doing thing that only one with
free time would and could do.

cleaning out the garage...
washing the car outside...
raking the leaves...
organizing all the clothes...since unpacking halifax
playing wii...
watching tv...
and helping a friend build a model for his final project
all time well spent!

disussed the job aspect for the summer as well
with the architect i'm working with...
i have work to do and i'm glad i won't
be in the office 9-5 yet this summer.

probably start that in the fall
and perhaps start studying for those
licensing exams...

but for now...
take
it
easy

closing time

for some reason this song came to my head at 2am.
closing time by semisonic.

closing time
open all the doors and let you out into the world
closing time
turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
closing time
one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
closing time

you don't have to go home but you can't stay here

so i can't stay here...

it's time to go home eh...
life planning 101 begins again.
and the struggle will begin to occupy my time...
or as proven many times before...
there will be no struggle at all.

so gather up your jackets
move it to the exits
i hope you have found a friend
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

it's time go get back to where i came from.
it seems odd this time to go back.
home now seems somewhat like a foreign place...

i've enjoyed my time here
and the abrupt stop
will bring a time for change.

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

thinking of the things i'll lose...
i've gained more than i would have thought.
i've gained a brother and sister.

when one leaves, one comes back.
god provides.
trust those two words.
because he has never failed.

in the time here...
a mere two years...
it's been eventful...

here's to an accomplishment
that was challenging and fulfilling.

we gather and we depart
we gather and we depart
one significant part of everyday life.
with different time scales at play.

it's time to enjoy the time that's left.

taking minutes

all at once
the world can overwhelm me
there almost nothing you could tell me
that could ease my mind

which way will you run
when it's always all around you
and the feeling lost and found you again
the feeling that we have no control

...

keep asking ourselves are we really
strong enough
there's so many things that we got
too proud of

i wanna take the preconceived
out from underneath your feet
we could shake it off

instead we'll plant some seeds
we'll watch them as they grow
and with each new beat
from your heart the roots grow deeper
the branches will they reach for what
nobody really knows

theres a world we've never seen
theres still hope between the dreams
the weight of it all
could blow away with a breeze
if your waiting on the wind

don't forget to breathe
because as the darkness gets deeper
we'll be sinking as we reach for love
at least something we could hold
but i'll reach to you from where time just can't go

parts from
jack johnson - all at once

__________________________________________________

it's been a week with stories to tell
with moments and memories created

an overwhelming week so far
that will continue into the next

the long awaited client meeting
for the house project finally happened

it's been a bit hectic trying to prepare the work
staying up till 3-5am daily
juggling thesis and work...
and everything above and in between.

it's fun stuff.

today has been a stimulating day.
constantly on my toes
thinking of direction
timing
words
signals
and how to create a good impression.

we did a good job.
and then goes...

'keep asking ourselves are we really
strong enough
there's so many things that we got
too proud of'

i have much to learn...so much
i felt like a sales person today
pitching ideas left and right
and providing feedback and advice to suggestions

i'm happy today.
today i felt and lived as a practicing architect.
i have a great mentor.
i'm watching her dreams
unfold in front of me just as mine are.

just wanted to get that down.

努力 風箏

愛是無辜的風箏　拉著最在乎的人
情已逝　我還在　註定一個人流浪
愛是斷線的風箏　掙脫一開始的夢
黑暗中一步步的墜落紅塵　無法挽救的溫存
我是殘破的風箏　寧願在遙遠的天空
看你轉過身決定去實現你和他的承諾

__________________________________________


我也說過　對我　不要有太多的期望
可是　也不要低估我　我會繼續加油
繼續努力　繼續往前走
我不能夠說　我經過了很多
也不能夠說　以後的路會是怎樣

我要謝謝你

ever a good time?

things happen everyday with the consideration of time
today there have been so many...

is it ever a good time to get sick?
i thought about it and it's no...
in sickness you can't do much but rest
and get better in time.

travel plans...
planning future travel plans is really tough
right now because i don't know what i'll
be doing in the summer

how long can i go
when should i leave
when should i come back

talked about current time with when is the time
to study and do work
how do we allocate our time in one day
is there an appropriate balance

i'm very thankful this term
that i don't have a heavy workload
and i can sleep in for many days
definitely has helped in getting healthy

___________________________________________________

right now i think i'm quite fortunate...
for things that haven't happened
for things that i don't have to concern myself with...
i mean...
so many things and events can take place
that if they were to happen
i wouldn't really know what to do...
i'm just glad right now
in this moment...
i sort of know what i'm doing
and i can handle the situations that i'm dealing with

bigger and more terrifying events lie ahead...
inevitable...
and i know for sure...
that i will be off guard for many of them.

unresolved

got this bad feeling of restlessness this moment
it's been building up

the feeling of unsatisfaction has gripped me whole
the loss of direction in most ways

i know i need to work
and work hard
just a month ago i couldn't care less
about how thesis turns out
as long as i passed

and now...
i have this feeling that i need to do it well
a surmounting pressure on myself
that this is my last chance

what happened.
why do i care

when i do something
anything
that i got to put my mind and heart to it
and do it well

i noticed that i don't usually participate
in things i'm not good at

__________________________________________________


i think of doing things
that many times i don't do.

i wish sometimes i can help
that i have some comforting words to offer.

i'm a coward though.
i avoid when i know i should confront
i am silent when i know i should talk

__________________________________________________

how will i be as an architect?
how many more years will it take?
3? 4?
the road is so long
and by the end of it...
i hope i would not have gone down the wrong path
take the easy way

there's no easy way of becoming an architect
but after
the choice is mine to make
on what kind of architect i become

even to think that i will become one someday
is distant and odd...
how draining...

__________________________________________________

speaking of draining...
this cold i've caught is draining...

no motivation to do work
procrastinating my way through the days...

GET TO WORK!

it's gonna be one of those years of accomplishments
i can feel it...
just when i resolved to do otherwise...
augh.

always on your side

my yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
but every now and then you come to mind
cause you were always waiting
to be picked to play the game
but when your name was called
you found a place to hide
when you knew that i was always on your side

well everything was easy then
so sweet and innocent
but my demons and your angels reappeared
leaving all the traces of the man you thought i'd be
leaving you with no place left to go from here
leaving you so many questions all these years

but is there someplace far away
someplace where all is clear
easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
this isn't how it's really meant to be

well they say that love is in the air
but never is it clear
how to pull it close and make it stay
butterflies are free to fly
why do they fly away
and i'm left to carry on and wonder why
even through it all
i'm always on your side