figures

who decides that these figurines actually get made?
haha...
a lot of time goes into designing
manufacturing
packaging...
couldn't they think of something better?

the soccer player on the left is called chocolo
the only one with a differnet ethinicity
in the whole group of collectible soccer players
from the snack...and we got it!
as for the one on the right
we decided would be chocolo's admirer
we deem these two figures as trophies

but that's to the loser of blokus...
loser trophies...haha...

copenhagen

this is where i may be working
in less than a year

_________________________________________________

the 'who knows what will happen'
phrase has appeared in many instances lately

it's unreal that there are only two weeks left
i seem to think i have a plan in my head
of how things will work out
seems alright for now
i can still hold down the fort

better now from all the sick
definitely did get plenty of rest
after all
that's what getting sick is about

_________________________________________________

the topic on my mind is this
growing up

places i've been
things i've done
i've had my family
i've had great friends
i've always had somebody to rely on

in the family
being the youngest
definitely has the notion of being protected
i've always been protected

haha...
today i got
'he's really growing up...awww...'
haha...
hai...

growing up.
it's like
a tug-of-war
one side pulling
the other pulling back

i want to know that i can handle
yet i need to know
that if i fall
i'll be caught
part of me needs to prove it

because i know
what i'm capable of
my thoughts have been here
for more than two years

words strung together
in my mind they make sense.

_________________________________________________


in two weeks
i'll be leaving halifax

who would reject
the best of both worlds

for me
it's been jumping back and forth
between two worlds

get used to one
go back to the next

i've grown accustom
to a life here in halifax
i've been really fortunate
it's been a smooth ride
thanks to many
and thanks to the one above
always looking out for me

you know...
i will go home
knowing i will wonder
what goes on here

i've thoroughly enjoyed
three terms of school
only that the end of the third
which is now
seems to drag on forever

_________________________________________________

for my upcoming work terms

i first asked to get into one firm
i got in
i felt i was selling myself short
knowing possibly i could be trapped
doing work i know is mundane
and that i've complained about many times before
other aspects would make me want to be in toronto
very comfortable

i then asked for something more interesting
avant garde
i got in
no pay

do i want to work for picasso
for free
do i want to work for my neighbourhood painter
for money
haha...maybe neighbourhood painter is a bit harsh
but this is a neighbourhood painter
going international
the paintings are not as special
but this painter is prolific

contagious

trying to find a song
that will sing out my thoughts
maybe that's why people
start writing lyrics.

when i found a couple lines
that matched
i had to switch out of it.

heavyness is contagious
one after the next.

then i hit this song...

i lived a lot of life
i caught a dream or two
it's been a sweet ride

but i've faced my share of nights
searched like we all do
looking inside

now i'm standing here
because you've made it clear

this heart inside me beats because
you love enough to take my cross
i'm alive
you gave your life to shatter death
so even after my last breath
i'm alive

...next song

i tried to figure it out
time and time again
and time again

i guess there's just some things i'll never understand
because your ways are not our ways
but deep down in my soul
there is one thing that i know

i'm in over my head
right where i want to be
i'm lost within your love
the love that always covers me
so high
so deep
so wide
a strong and cleansing tide
my soul has found a place to rest

i've been holding on
now i'm letting go
just letting go
going to let your love carry me away
i don't know where i'm going
but i'm surrounded by the truth
and i can feel the current pulling me
deeper into you

you see me for who i am
you did reach out your hand
you made me understand

i'm in over my head
right where i want to be
i'm lost within your love

talk

when you think you hit rock bottom
look again...

there's no hot water
no heat
thankfully it isn't too cold

i can't even fathom my school work
or put my mind to it...
before i got sick i was
already i'm pressing myself

coughing till 4am last night
not sleeping
walking around
thinking of any remedy that i could possibly try...
nothing worked...

i searched to listen to my mp3 player...
to put me to sleep...
it had gone missing...
as i've tried to look again...
nowhere to be found

going through the stages of being sick
one symptom at a time...

i can't talk
i felt so feeble...
not being able speak on the phone

when i thought i was getting better
i found out i was headed the other way...
and no...
i don't know how to take care of myself...

and as i know it will only take time
before i will get better

getting sick
has allowed me to know

that many people care
given many words of comfort
thanks...

and when i was hoping for words
of comfort...
a simple...
...
...

one does not
one says i brought it upon myself
one doesn't let me explain

yes...
i make the wrong judgement calls
i know what i've done wrong
i already know...
you rub it in...
you remind me...

for now...
i don't want to talk...
i don't know where to look...
my words just break and melt...

fever

sick

seemed that i was waking every 10 min
when sleeing last night

hot and cold
hot and cold

can't remember the last time i got sick
don' think i have this year

haha...
funny how two people
say that it was because i stare at my computer
too much that i get sick...

what i've done today is watch heroes
and slept...

now that i am well behind in my work...
don't want to push myself...
do what i can...

maybe sleep some more...
aching all over.

car chasin

we'll do it all
everything
on our own

we don't need
anything
or anyone

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and forget the world?

i don't quite know
how to say
how i feel

those three words
are said too much
they're not enough

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's bursting into life

lets waste time
chasing cars
around our heads

i need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

all that i am
all that ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
they're all i can see

i don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things
will never change for us at all

would you lie with me and forget the world?

chasing cars - snow patrol

thoroughly aggitated...

the unexpected

condensed words more impact?
sure...for now

until i can garner up time
to barf out what i have to write.

at this moment
i feel immense pressure
from many sides of life
remembering the juggling analogy
i read before

in my mind
one too many glass pieces in air

first couple of white hairs on my head
reasons can be applied.

mind so compressed.
need to release air valve.

hoping it would get better tonight
yet expectations lead
to dangerous outcomes
of unfufillment

____________________________________________

comes once in a while
good intentions
retured in thrashings

all work put into the publication
gets retured in
i'm not happy you didn't ask my approval
glad roomate is completely on my side
somebody on my side
we fired emails back
and this is extremely damaging on ourselves
and on our own concious
trampled too much already
trampled by one who has been MIA
for 4 months even worse
now with his fingers pointing at us
not getting his approval

when we reply
had to make clear
put all the effort
returned nothing but slack

gave some slack back
maybe not slack
but entire clarification
and an understanding of who shouldn't
be pointing a finger

i wonder the response.
he definitely would have expected that

not in me to be the
one ticked

the unexpected leads to...
where it has led me now

____________________________________________

great theatre ideas
keep pushing and pursuing

protest

tedious
annoying
getting no where
wasted time
frustration...

anti-schoolwork protest and demonostrations
have been taking place in my room today