you're beautiful

relentless tireless restlessness

10 pounds in my head

3 pound wounds
2 pound wonder
4 pound people
1 pound direction

poured out

3 pound distress
2 pound care
2 pound comfort
1 pound healing

add them up, take them away, mix it around

after reading the book 'wild at heart'
thanks for it =)
i found out i had open wounds
i never knew about
it teaches how they can be healed
my wounds deeply personal
and the book says that
everybody has been wounded

i see everybody so much more differently than before
even sometimes it makes me want to have
not read the book

something very small can alter my thought
most of the time i think i'm asking for too much
is it?
who knows

ah...the wonders of life.

and i'm discovering that
i'm an apologetic fool who tries
relentlessly, tirelessly, restlessly
to please everyone

i'm tired.

don't give up though

'come to me, all who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest.'

thanks

_________________________________________

can't get enough of this song

you're beautiful - james blunt

my life is brilliant.
my love is pure.
i saw an angel.
of that i'm sure.
she smiled at me on the subway.
she was with another man.
but i won't lose no sleep on that,
'cause i've got a plan.

you're beautiful. you're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.
i saw you face in a crowded place,
and i don't know what to do,
'cause i'll never be with you.

yeah, she caught my eye,
as we walked on by.
she could see from my face that i was,
flying high,
and i don't think that i'll see her again,
but we shared a moment that will last till the end.

you're beautiful. you're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.
i saw you face in a crowded place,
and I don't know what to do,
'cause i'll never be with you.
you're beautiful. you're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.

there must be an angel with a smile on her face,
when she thought up that i should be with you.
but it's time to face the truth,
i will never be with you.

dear friend

perhaps there is something in your life causing you to question God
do you find yourself saying, 'i do not understand why God allowed my loved one to be taken. i do not understand why affliction has been permitted to strike me. i do not understand why the Lord has led me down these twisting paths. i do not understand why my own plans, which seemed so good, have been so disappointing. i do not understand why the blessings i so desperately need are so long in coming.'

dear friend, you do not have to understand all God's ways of dealing with you. he does not expect you to understand them. you do not expect your children to understand everything you do -- you simply want them to trust you. and someday you too will see the glory of God in the things you do not understand.

you're the best

thanks mr wong
you've made my day
even though this card is more than one month late
it is very much appreciated
it arrived at a great time.

sadly you're over there in hk.
but then i don't think our friendship would have grown
you didn't leave.

thanks sir.

i can say the same to you and more
definitely.


and o!

thanks very much for your cards
....haha
i'll send you cards very soon!


take care over there in seattle.

gettin better

as long as i can lord

i exhausted.

i go on.

endless road

this is a song that i've been listening to for a couple days...
beware: you may be saddened after reading...
and after listening to the song...you will
__________________________________________


the truth is tearing up my heart
i can't recognize this place
the endless road without a stop sign
can't even find a stranger this time

why am i
still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seams a wonder
how we could be together

every time i ask
if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this...

i think...
i never will...

a crystal forming in the eye
mayebe this would be the last
the winding path down my face
till i begin to taste the bitterness inside

why am i
still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seams a wonder
how we could be together

every time i ask
if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this...

i think...
i never will...

bittersweet

each night it's hard to fall asleep
every morning i wake up with unrest

nothing is wrong

and i don't think i could ask for more
____________________________________________

i wanted to translate some chinese lyrics onto here
but i don't think i have the right words

i know people come and go
and they don't come back
and i know i can only smile and watch them leave

i think about you some nights
but what can i do
even if i ran into you
would you be as happy as i am

best to you
yet another

if you could see me smiling

it's been a while
a whole week since i haven't written here

it's one of those days where i feel nothing can bring me down

it's been so good
i don't think i can use words to describe it

'i don't believe in 'good days' and 'bad days'
after reading the book called 'the discipline of grace'

everyday can be as good as the next one
if you can put it into perspective

my blessings today did not depend on my performance before
and everyday is a good one with the knowledge of being saved

you and me
are good enough for His grace

this year in the past months
if you've read anything from before
you might know that i hadn't been doing too well

going through change
diappointments
self-conciousness
led me to dispair

right now the things that cause me grief
don't bother me

what happened today?
what's happening today?
and how will this day end?

not just today
but recently
i have become very comfortable with
who i am
what i do
what i believe

case one of 'His grace'

i've recently reached out to a friend
who has been going through relational problems
which is quite serious in my mind
he told me he was going back to church because of this
but i knew his faith is weak
God put it in my heart to reach out
and i know what it feels like to be reached out to
'woah, somebody actually cares.'
such encouragement

as i have cried out to God
'what have i done for you'

He answered me repeatedly since i've asked
i now ask
'what more can i do?'

case two of 'His grace'

i haven't been doing really well spirutually
during this phase of changing churches

but someone has come along my way
and refreshed my relationship with God

case three of 'His grace'

i'll do 5 cases
too many to list all of them

if you look carefully in a day
there are most likely too many to list

today i talked to a friend i haven't talked to in months
and i couldn't imagine what i was saying was coming from me
i've learned so much this year
i've grown up plenty as well

he wasn't feeling well
and i understand where he's coming from
i told him whoever you are
whatever you do
is what God intended you to be
don't run away from yourself
there's a reason for it all
trust me

he told me that he'll find his way to God

i told him that it feels like i've found a long lost friend

case four of 'His grace'

it was hard to believe myself
i didn't go on an intended trip on sunday
doesn't mean i wasted away doing nothing =)

i went with my mom and an auntie who gambles
as her occupation to the mall
she's very lost in direction
and finds it hard to find 'good people' anymore
she's been disappointed far too many times

i asked my mom in the car to go to church
not only did she agree
but she asked auntie to go with her
after much convincing
they will both go to church with me
beginning october

please pray that this comes true
because i know it can fall through

case five of 'His grace'

today, in a long long time
we are gathered at home
to eat dinner

back together again

finally the client has left
and we can return back to 'normal'
no business was done
a lot of wasted time, evergy, and effort

i'm somewhat thankful for that
my dad has been arrogant
thinking he had this big deal going on
so things will slowly become
what it was like in the past

and they will live happily ever after

if you could see me smiling.

carry on without me

be the first to reach out
in thanking, forgiving, loving, learning, helping, mending

the first so many times
i don't want to reach

arm is tired, injured, strained, weak, frail
_______________________________________

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven?
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven?

i must be strong
and carry on,
'cause i know i don't belong
here in heaven.

would you hold my hand
if i saw you in heaven?
would you help me stand
if i saw you in heaven?

i'll find my way
through night and day
'cause i know i just can't stay
here in heaven

time can bring you down
time can bend your knees
time can break your heart
have you begging please, begging please

beyond the door
there's peace i'm sure,
and i know there'll be no more
tears in heaven.

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven?
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven?

i must be strong
and carry on
'cause i know i don't belong
here in heaven

eric clapton - tears in heaven

a simple yes
can make all the difference in the world

a world so big

it was a great day at church today
i missed church last week

i was looking forward to going today
i went to my tutors church
it was a great message
along with really friendly people
the friendliest greeting i've ever had

she introduced me to her friends
as her past student
and i tell them i'm still her student
- life long learning

we went for lunch and she came over after lunch
i've updated her and she's updated me on our respective lives

we have a lot in common although we have a large age gap
and i really enjoy her respect and knowledge
how she thinks about issues

she's someone i look to
on outlook in life

'believe in yourself
in your talents and skills
that have brought you
this special day

believe in yourself
in your God-given gifts
and your faith will help show
you the way

believe in yourself
and your own heart
will tell you the dreams and goals
to pursue

believe in yourself
you're someone unique
with no limit
to what you can do'

today the sermon got me most
when she talked about what we do for God
and that has been the question on my mind

she used the analogy of basketball
i've never shot a basket in myself

and she said the people even on the sidelines
are very important

again i was reminded
even for a few minutes a day,

to look at the sky
and how big the world is
and problems will melt away

thanks.

on the run

what's this inside me?

i don't know

a big jumble of stuff running through my head

i would like to write it all...but i can't
and if you ask why i can't say either

lately i've been confronted with a lot of problems

none of my own...

i have enough already running on the backburner

in a sense i'm learning a lot from other people
and in another way
i feel really bad

i felt really good when i helped
and you know what?
i am trying my best

and i was so glad when i was thanked
that my effort is appreciated
it means a lot

and then i remembered
people who've been shown kindness
are only then capable of doing the same
____________________________________________

where has my dad been?

augh...maybe i should be telling him instead...
but he's not around...
i haven't seen him for more than a week now
he's busy working on a big 'deal' with a client

busy going to casinos
i'd be happier if he told me he told me he got a new hobby
but i find out he's shooting guns for a hobby

i mean....
i don't know anymore

as the son am i supposed to reach out?
this is heavier than i can handle.
____________________________________________

it's the long weekend
i've gotta get my time organized

i need to know what i need to be doing
and yes...i'll be working on that portfolio

and yes...thanks for the push
____________________________________________

ever had a heart sinking moment?

i had one today.

byeee...
augh...
____________________________________________

i won't run away...

guess what

start all three parts with 'guess what?'
_____________________________________

i've finally picked colours for the portfolio!
that's a start
they look almost like the blog
except for the blue
they remind me of muji

also got the GRE book from a friend
i can now start reviewing my highschool knowledge!
_____________________________________

i'm well rested feeling great!
thanks for the weekend

these few days i'm much more at peace than before
_____________________________________

today it finally hit me!

no school for the first time in 18 years!
after labour day is a work day
not a school day

no homework
no grades
no gathering with friends
to discuss homework and grades













--------------------------------> thanks

lift

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

my head is spinning...

the whole day i kept repeating to myself
'look awake'
'get everything done'

by the end of the work day
i looked awake
and got everything done

after work
i felt i was about to collapse
light headed
heavy feet

i went to sleep, but couldn't
can't stand it when that happens

there's too much on my mind

when the world comes down hard
don't lift on your own

reaching deep

loaded with work tonite

i struggle to find the time
to make time for others

God has been very gracious

i make a call to my another one of my mentors
my teacher
it's her birthday today

there's this warm calm coming over me
she tells me she goes to church every sunday
and even to sunday school
enjoying it very much

what?
did i just hear that?
i did

it is a blessing to hear these stories

it is much more than a blessing when you hear them
when feeling like the smallest speck on the earth

'i hope you have a very happy birthday'
'it is because you called me'

23 cards

just as you are

heart of mine
why must you stray
from one so fair
you run away
and one more time you have to pay
the heaviness of needless shame

heart of mine
come back home
you've been too long
out on your own
and he's been there all along
watching for you down the road

so come home running
his arms are open wide
his name is Jesus
and he understands
he is the answer
you are looking for
so come home running
just as you are

child of God
so dearly loved
and ransomed by
the Saviour's blood
and called by name
daughter and son
wrapped in the robe
of righteousness

so come home running
just as you are

chris tomlin - come home running
________________________________________

thanks to all, thanks for everything.

i feel a little stupid.
or very.

thanks for proving me wrong.

it's me who needs to learn from all of you.

waiting for a dream

opened wounds?

many things on my mind
to troubled to express
to lost to think
to confused to convey

i gave myself 10 days
any better?
i trick myself to believe that it is
________________________________________

happy birthday?
i don't know if i'll be happy for this one

i'm at that age...
no material possession can make me happier

with age comes more knowledge
i don't want to know anymore
________________________________________

last week
i remember
i walked outside in the morning
i plugged in my mp3 player
and listened to the first three notes

and sank into the deepest pit
i've never felt that way before

it became worse on the subway
so many people
yet i couldn't hold it
they began to look
but i couldn't stop

i took out my pencil
and started writing

the music made it continue
_______________________________________

i know what you're going through
i won't be the one that lets go of you

when you come back down
if you land on your feet
i hope you find a way to make it back to me

i don't know if i'll make it to my feet
without a hand

everything stays in my mind
feeling in a daze on the ground
feels like it's gonna give
life's too hard to live anymore
think i've had enough things too tough
i'm out the door

falling down what you gonna do?
standing on the top of the world tonite
no one's looking back at you
stand tall
it's going to be just fine
i'm holding on today

i would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming

i would spend my nights sleeping
instead of daydreaming

only if i knew
i would have a sweet dream tonite

sweet dreams.

**

**thoughts closed for repair

ouch

my stomach is constantly gnawing away at me...

sadly i'll be seeing the doctor again today...so i gotta leave work early

my own diagnosis:
stomach ulcer

reason:
anti-inflammatory drugs, stress, and anxiety

symptoms:
gnawing, aching, burning, fatigue

treatment:
hopefully the doctor knows this time
_____________________________________________

my regular doctor is on holiday
i went to doctor that i think isn't great
i see him for 5 minutes, and i can leave
he said it's not what i diagnosed
probably something else

getting xrays next week

i'm alright...

maybe i'm not...
but ah well.

i guess when the 31 days are up...
i can't ask for more?
it was a really great 31 days
thanks.

maybe i'm dreaming
it's a nice dream though
maybe i'll wake up.

here

so much beauty in life
shining on the outside
empty on the inside
i get lost sometimes
blinded by the flashing lights
distractions always in my eyes

so i'm following the sound,
the sound of my heart

you can take it all away
i don't need it
underneath
i'll still be the same

coming in with nothing, leaving with the same
it's all inside
coming in with nothing, the only thing that saves
is here inside

ryan cabrera - take it all away
_________________________________________


6 years...i cried
6 years...

what have i done in these 6 years
i felt a little more than useless
a little more than shameful
a little more than sad

'you've accomplished nothing and you haven't amounted to much'

nobody i can open to
nobody i can talk to

the bridges i form
i break all on my own

nothing to fall back on
nobody to fall back on

i know i am where i am
because you want me to be here

you have my heart

you have my heart 
and i am yours forever
you are my strength
God of grace and power

and everything you hold in your hand
still you make time for me
i can’t understand
praise you God of earth and sky
how beautiful is your unfailing love
unfailing love

and you never change God you remain
the Holy One
my unfailing love
unfailing love

you are my rock
the one i hold on to
you are my song
and i sing for you

still you make time for me
i can't understand
______________________________________

after a long day of work
i didn't want to go home yet
so i walked around the mall
getting some B vitamins

on the crowded subway home
i ran into someone from church

i was really happy to see her
because i haven't talked to her in a long time
her husband and kids have moved and changed churches

how much God has blessed her life
i could see it in the way she told me today
in the short thirty minute ride

her husband has been studying to become a pastor
a major decision to make

no regrets
no resentment
no bitterness
just following
just trusting
just relying

because of her husbands calling
she has been carrying the family's finances
she works long hours
and she spends less time with her family
they have had to move
the children had to switch
from private to public school

i told her a little about myself

she reminded me to be thankful
to know that God is in control

listening to others often helps
put my own life into perspective

=)

found you.

haha

patio of cafe in paris

need holidays

yea...that's right
i need holidays.

i had one already?
haha...i took one when i went to europe?
i don't know if i can classify that as a holiday

finally got 8 hours of sleep
as the doctor ordered
and i got my blood test

headed to the beach for a perfect relaxing day
the water was clear
the air was fresh

your smile warms my heart
_________________________________________

today's the last day
thanks.

ever grateful
how gracious
how abundant
i ask for a ray
and you give me the sun

yet another farewell

yet another farewell gathering yesterday
i was going through in my head the friends that have left
that will leave soon
and that will leave toronto eventually in the coming years

bye for now o!

and one by one my best friends passed through my mind
they will almost all be gone somewhere else...

it's been bugging me for quite a while now

i have a dream of having friends who i've grown up with
who have known me ever since i was 3 or 4 feet tall
and knowing them throughout life
_______________________________________

long ago my friend was talking to me about something

don't you ever wish that you could be somebody else for a few days?
or live like other people live for a few days?

sure i would

ever hear a famous person wanting so bad to be a normal average person?
left alone from the world

not that i want to be famous
i would like to be someone other than myself somedays

live through other people?

sounds like someone who's yet to be comefortable with themselves
i'm getting better

not the same

if my mind wasn't messed enough...
i forgot to turn my phone back on last night
and i was waiting for my mentor to call me
whoops...
but i got her message in the morning and gave her a call
she said everything went really well...
then she gave me a surprise (not that kind)

augh

if my mind isn't messed enough

you're leaving too?
maybe i never believed that it would come true
and now you make it sound so forthcoming

what will become of us when you're not here?
i don't want to think of it
i know already that we will not be the same

i will miss the laughs, the sudden outbursts
the big and thoughtful heart
one who i've seen change over so many years
so many years

i don't know if i'll be prepared for the day

teary eyed in the office...

no other way

waiting...waiting...

does all stop from here?
all the excitement?
all the pressure?
all the fun?

i know it doesn't
although it feels like i've overcome something

the 31 days are almost up

i've done so well.
never on my own.

though the song in my head keeps repeating

when your mind is a mess
so is mine
i can't sleep
cuz it hurts when i think
my thoughts aren't at peace with the plans that we make
chances we take
they're not yours
they're not mine
there's waves that can break
all the words that we said
and the words that we mean
words can fall short
can't see the unseen
cuz the world is awake

and i know that if i knew
all of the answers i would
not hold them from you
know all the things that i know
we told each other
there is no other way

well too much silence can be misleading
you're drifting i can hear it in the way that your breathing
we don't really need to find reason
cause out the same door that it came well its leaving its leaving
leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
but at least we can sleep
its all that we need
when we wake we will find
our minds will be free to go to sleep
__________________________________________

'test me in this and see if i will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.' malachi 3:10

my dear child, i still have floodgates in heaven, and they are still in service. the locks open as easily as before, and the hinges have not grown rusty. in fact, i would rather throw them open to pour out the blessings than hold them back - if you will only let me.

i have asked for a cupful, while he owns the entire ocean
i have asked for one simple ray of light, while he holds the sun

smiling

smiling.

in the day you'll catch me many times smiling at what i'm thinking about.

and today has definitely been worth smiling about.
i have plenty that i want to write.
i got about 30 min to spare and i'm gonna use it to write

what do i cut out when i'm pressed for time?

• my hair doesn't get cut
• i don't eat breakfast
• my fingernails are not cut
  
• i haven't been grocery shopping
• i've cut down on exercise (if any at all)
• i cut down on eating
• even take showers in the morning to save time
• i don't watch tv
• on reading

now that i have time, i'm not doing any of those things
_______________________________________________

high strung.

what is being high strung?
every strike a guitar cord?
and it vibrates so rapidly?
like a cord, people can be called high strung.
architects/designers are typically known to be high strung, i know a few.

i agree that my parents are high strung
yet completely know how to relax
we discussed it yesterday

i said i get it from both my parents
my mom's a perfectionist
my dad does things so fast
both highly demanding
both incredibly great at what they do

the family has worked very hard to become what it is today
we all contribute to do our share

sex: m

1. birthday？ 21.08.82
2. signs of the zodiac？ leo
3. occupation？ architorture
4. glasses？ yes and contacts
5. earrings？ no
6. current watch brand？ kenneth cole
7. short/long hair？ short
8. dyed hair color？ no
9. favorite colour？ orange
10. dieting？ i hope not
11. favorite food？ chinese
12. least favorite food？ dried oysters
13. favorite snack？ french fries
14. favorite drink？ milk green tea
15. favorite store/restaurant？ ikea/edo
16. drink？ occassionally
17. last cd purchased？ architecture in helsinki – fingers crossed
18. recent favorite song？ no other way – jack johnson
19. favorite singer？ jack johnson
20. when k-ing, song that you must sing？ something by eason
21. which concert to attend？ faye
22. play instrument？ nope…but i know how to appreciate them
23. favorite type of movie？ comedy
24. movie @ home/theatre ? theatre
    
25. most recent watched movie？ war of the worlds
26. thoughts afterwards？ don’t waste your money
27. most anticipated movie？ none
28. most remembered movie？ shrek 1
29. favorite actor？ my boss, some of my coworkers…haha
30. watch scary movie alone？ no
31. favorite movie quote？ not good at remembering what is said in movies
32. favorite mangaka？?
33. favorite animation？ peanuts
34. favorite animated character？ linus
35. most recent book purchased？ the curious incident of the dog in the night-time
36. favorite author？ mitch albom
37. next book for purchase？ something related to architecture
38. subscribe to magazine？ dwell
39. book that must be read？ bible
40. favorite type of clothing accessory？ me
41. favorite brand？ i’m not about brand
42. brand not worth the $？ plenty
43. deciding factor when purchasing clothes？ do i need it?
44. current cell phone？ ericsson t610
45. current ring tone？ spring thaw
46. items must bring when leaving the house？ brain, keys, cell phone, wallet
47. game consoles？ ps2
48. favorite type of game？ rpg
49. ideal place (country) to visit？ switzerland
50. favorite symbol that represents you？ happy smiley
51. collections？ peanuts, architecture stuff
52. favorite saying？ haha
53. posters in your room？ not in my bedroom, back the bid…london, god is good
54. ugliest decor at home？ anything not modern…haha
55. most wanted furniture？ comfortable sofa
56. least favorite type of ppl？ judgemental...but then i'm supposed to be cuz i design? so nevermind
    
57. language to learn？ manderin
58. anything weird about yourself？ sure
59. love = important？ yes
60. further quality of your other half？ sincere
61. want to get married？ sure
62. favorite season？ summer
63. favorite flower？ sunflower
64. favorite festival？ christmas
65. believe in fortune telling？ no
66. phobias？ deadlines
67. what is happiness？ being completely comfortable with myself/yourself
68. most important thing in the world？ God
69. do you believe in God？ yes
70. where will you be.. after you die？ heaven
71. live by motto？ only a life in the service of others is worth living
72. dream？ living in a house designed by me
73. specialties？ ?
74. way to make yourself feel better？ talking with other people
75. describe yourself。 linus
76. wisdom or good looks？ wisdom
77. which animal best represents you？ right now…panda
78. if you can choose, what nationality will you choose next life？ european
79. anything to say？ is work over yet?
80. current time？ 3:30pm
81. finished.. your thoughts？ this is far from knowing me...good start though! i don't really know myself that well either.

a prayer away

office 9-5

my unrest has brought me to the doctor and medicine once again
overly anxious, i don't want to say, but stressed
_________________________________________

what can take a dying man and
raise him up to life again?
what can heal a wounded soul?
what can make us white as snow?
what can fill the emptiness?
what can mend our brokenness?

mighty, awsome, wonderful
is the holy cross
where the lamb lay down His life
to lift us from the fall
mighty is the power of the cross

what restors our faith in God?
what reveals the Father's love?
what can lead the wayward home?
what can melt this heart of stone?
what can free the guilty ones?
what can save and overcome?

by chris tomlin
_________________________________________

you're only a prayer away

happy to be

happy i am for this person to come into my life
i knew something special was there the moment i saw her

the more i discovered, the more i fell
________________________________________

ouch! something inside is hurting!
i don't know what it is...
it's not usual that i get pain after eating.

'get more rest' everybody says.

and i say 'no, how can i rest?'

i fell asleep on the couch for a few minutes
cuz i couldn't really work with the constant pinching pain
around the stomach area.
augh...it's still there.

beautiful day today.

really, i wish i could rest.
uhggggg...

dream come true

**warning** system overload

entering a dangerous state

as i sat down at the table today, after work, with my mentor,
one of the most amazing people i know...if i haven't mentioned already
i was nervous

i didn't have a lot of work done
i knew it
i was already working all my hours...

it felt so unreal.
me? at the table with my mentor, this great, great architect
i was astonished

i felt somewhat ashamed of what i brought to the table...
is that all i had?

we talk, we laugh at our crazy ideas...
and not a single word of negativity is spoken.
at the art supply store, she saw i got a tad anxious
she said 'don't stress it, i don't want you to'
haha...see can see right through me
most likely due to the end of the work week after a long day at the office
working on a boring...ugly project
i absolutely looked forward to meeting with her.
after all, it's design work

i watched her sketch...and i was again, so astonished.
by watching her sketch, i was learning
how fast and how nice they are

the ideas kept flowing out of her...
and me? my brain was not too functional
i was exhausted, but resisted to show any sign

the people at work don't come close to being like my mentor,
far from

she said, 'so what do you think?'
i said 'i can't even believe i'm working on this project with you.'
she says, 'it's just the beginning, there are many great things that are going to happen with you.'

haha...what? how many people would even say that

it's like a dream come true.
blessed by a beautiful soul.
one that is extremely talented.

i will now attempt to sketch like my mentor does
and truly a mentor she is.

early morning

wearing down
wearing out

hey...i like it at least
so it's okay

create a set of working drawings...week and half left
augh...

i can't really remember all i've learned yesterday...haha
some people i'd like to talk to

somebody just told me to go to the beach...
ah....that would be nice...
_____________________________________________

so now it's 7...just got home...took a shower
and back to the computer,

'we'll go over the work tomoro, after lunch,' my coworker said
sounds good, if only i can pull off the work

save some for tomoro
or else i would have nothing to do the next morning
or...no sleep

very glad it's a friday tomoro

mr working man

triple yikes

piling it on...
when i thought i was at my limit...
stuff continues to be added to the list
ten fold

very nerve racking yet exciting

they give me so many new things to do...
so i just gotta keep on top of it

and the deadlines are so fast.
these couple of weeks i may disappear into thin air.
i need more time...
studio and work...

i get to be second designer
and i get to head a project!

when the doctor told me to get more rest...
now i can't really see how that will happen.

i haven't got more rest than when he first told me anyways.

just don't crash.

the clouds part

it's like having the best slice of pizza in the world

the light visible
how amazing you are.

the words will flow,

what makes this time so great
who makes me feel so great

my hands grip hold the edge of the earth
i pull myself out
i look around
everything seems fresh
like coming out of the grave

a blend of all my favourite things
of all my favourite things
of sights, of sound, of taste, of people

meeting and finding unexpected - rare opportunity
a stroll in perfect weather through a memorable art exhibition
savouring the best cake in town
a phone call i was happy to receive and make

thinking i would need to cook my meal at home
i enter the door
and join my brother and his friends for dinner

i didn't have the best slice of pizza this day
but everything combined today may even surpass
having the best slice of pizza in the world
which i had in florence.

the clouds part,
is the light too bright for me?

going out of service

so so tired.

worth it though?
i ended that with a period at first...
then changed it to a question mark.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i need to sleep!
@$#%$#%

how to get stuff done after work...when i'm a complete wreckage.

i enjoy working on the project at the office...
it feels like i'm in studio
and i'm talking to professors.
discussing ideas...throwing things back and fourth
now it's business
and pertains to something that might actually happen.

i get to discuss one on one on how the building should be layed out.

i'm beginning to think i need a stronger input on this project,
because there's no strong theoretical basis for the design yet...
and all those years of school are coming into such great use.

if i put more effort into it...although exhausted,
i think maybe we can win the clients over.

i'm glad that the company appreciates my help.
and values me working there.

weekend...weekend...where are you...

what if

where am i?

my health is plummeting,
and i had no idea
i was compromising my well being

not clear of exaclty what's going on
since i didn't get the message myself

the remedy?
more rest the doctor ordered.

more rest???
how unrested am i?
my vision is quite blurry right now.
does that mean i need rest?
i'm beginning to see double
ay...
but i do get 7 hours of sleep each night.
that is a consistent 7 hours a night.
no naps.
that's more than plenty of people right?

i don't know,

i thought yesterday what if...
what if i had something really bad,
would i be afraid?
easily i told myself no.

d really needs to rest.

another summer day on upper road

another summer day
has come and gone away
in paris and rome
but i wanna go home

maybe surrounded by
a million people i
still feel all alone
i just wanna go home
oh i miss you, you know

and i've been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you
each one a line or two
'i'm fine baby, how are you?'
well i would send them but i know that it’s just not enough
my words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

another aeroplane
another sunny place
i'm lucky i know
but i wanna go home
i've got to go home

let me go home
i'm just too far from where you are
i wanna come home

and i feel just like i'm living someone else's life
it's like i just stepped outside
when everything was going right
and i know just why you could not
come along with me
but this was not your dream
but you always believe in me

michael buble - home

i heard this song first when i was in europe,
and the lyrics hit dead centre.
_________________________________________

good cartwheeling...
and tasty straberry cake? it's a melty cake...
we totally should open go for kick.
look what we can do! hahaha...
i've never seen anything like it!

le wo la ch lu
haha...what the?!

gotta come up with the best team name
i wonder how this will all turn out.

i must get work done today.
_________________________________________

i'm going by the upper road, for that
still holds the sun,
i'm climbing through night's pastures where
the starry rives run
if you should think to seek me in my
old dark abode,
you'll find this writing on the door
'he's on the upper road.'

lounging

distillery district

_______________________________________

i'm doing well,
very well.

it's gonna all be okay...i can feel it.
_______________________________________

it's another one of those do nothing, catch up with myself kind of days.
though the procrastination constantly follows

how nice it is just to lounge outside without a care in the world.

i spent most of my day loading all of my music on my new creative.
thanks to my brother.
5 gigs of music...

_______________________________________

work is fun...
so i'll be working on the distillery district project!!!
along with the designer (who just came back from climbing everest)
that will be awsome.
and now i'm designing some signage...
so i'm not a full time cad monkey!