sufficient

another weekend passes...

it's been a very different one this weekend
from the ones months past

home is far away
and i'm glad my home away from home
is sufficient

______________________________________________


today the speaker at church asked
what do you miss most when away from home
in a foreign country

family
friends...

then came food
and everyone laughed

it was a far more emotional service
than i've ever experienced before
and i'm really thankful for the people there
i can't help but feel at home
in the house of the lord even far away from home

the songs were familiar
and the loving nature of people
is again brought to life
and refreshed my memory as i often forget

______________________________________________


i now have much more free time...
no commute to and from work
no driving here and there
no frequent appointments

and this free time on my own
causes my mind to drift
a lot of the times
i'll play music or a tv show to drown it out

______________________________________________


a simple message from a friend today
reminded me of a something i once did
which was of not much significance to me
but it was remembered by someone
and brought up a year later

out of office

more billede

my copenhagen coversation

i'm not used to the drinking champagne and getting a massage

the impromptu masseuse is my competition project teamate

been 5 days in copenhagen
all things beautiful

i've walked for 5 hours today
i should probably get a bike

the office was invited

at a furniture store showroom opening

my coworkers they're all young
the boss is probably turning 32 this year

and from different places
all across the map
we've got peru
germany...france...usa...
canada...china...belgium...
greece...portugal...denmark...
sweden...mexico...

all different variations of english

i don't get paid
and even when my coworker gets paid
she said
'it's enough to pay rent and food...
but i still have to borrow from my parents'

the office is relaxed
people get in at 10-12
i get in at 9:30 and it seems late for me

i wonder how jds still has things in the office
with so many interns in and out

i have to use my own computer
they installed the latest programs that i use into it

everybody's too cool
i'd say their style is grungy
they don't pull up their pants
is that in again??
sometimes you see things you don't wanna see....
PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!??!

i'll be severly craving some real food
when i get out of here
the food has been such a disappointment....

there are few good and cheap places...
and people are willing to pay for what they get...
just like design stuff

i haven't had a danish or butter cookie yet
where are they?!?!?
it's not popular among the locals

one person asked if i ate maple syrup everyday
i would if i ate pancakes and waffles daily
they've got a health and environmental craze going on
plastic shopping bags at grocery store cost 50 cents canadian
and so i will need to bring my own bag
they should just use a biodegradable bag

2nd day copenhagen

and i'm off

to work
and it's not work
it's fun so far
felt like school almost

there was a 1 hour sketch
meaning everybody in the office was
to design the facade of a bank project
in berlin

after the hour was up
we all got together and presented
and discussed our ideas
some are very cool
some alrite...
mostly avant garde
trying to push limits

and i'm working on a competition project
which is very interesting

i'm learning some danish...
but it's so hard to pronounce
augh

thank you is tak
that's all i can pronounce for now
sorry is undskyld
sorry's rough

i still have yet to discover the city
can't wait for the weekend

our firm is going on exhibition soon
in a BIG HUGE TENT
that will fit us...
and we'll be the exhibit...
not the projects...
but the people...
we'll be watched while we work
how we work
what we do
what we talk about
slightly akward
but very interesting

i've yet to take any pictures...

the weather here is very strange
5 min sunny
5 min rain
5 min hail
10 min sunny
5 min rain...
and onwards...

hopefully it can get warmer soon...

i'm off to take my danish shower.
you have to be here to know what that's like.
haha...

low fat

after my blood test with the doctor
he says everything is okay
cholesterol liver blood pressure
i'm not sure what other things get analyzed
during a blood test...

except your fat level is too low
too low?!?
haha...i thought... that couldn't be true
he said low is better than high

i guess i'll have to eat more fat
bring on the fat


_____________________________________________

feeling slightly queasy for my fast approaching
upcoming departure

i avoid packing by doing work
i avoid work by packing
the tug of war continues.

i avoid both by daydreaming.
one more day before i fly...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

getting things in order
tying up loose ends
saying goodbyes

i'll be gone for only 90 days
i'll come back speaking some danish
i read that to speak danish
you got to imagine a hot potato
in your mouth
i'll come back from my first independant
venture in my life
i'll come back with a new view on architecture
i'll come back with valuable experience
and
i'll come back with souveniers...
don't worry

toss and turn

today was my last day at zeidler...
too bad...
it was good there...
i got along with people...
they knew who i was...
and now i had to leave...

people i saw more than i saw
more than anybody else
these four months

it was a good last day
leaving is always bittersweet...
definitely will miss people there

in the back of my head
i was very glad i don't have to commute
and sleep early wake early

then again i still have to deal
with another project going on
which is tough...
because a lot rests on my shoulders
and deals with situations i'm unfamiliar with...
learn as i go along though...

then again
i'm leaving soon
which is very bittersweet
augh...
this constant flurry of bittersweetness
is annoying
and hard to deal with
half the time i stare into nothingness
daydreaming...
thinking...
wondering...

it's been a great four months.

i can't help but want everything
to be going well for everybody
all the time.
something impossible i strive for.

i want to know
that everything is alright while i'm here
that everything will be alright when i'm gone.

i want to let you know that everything will.
i just hope i will be.

life in lyrics

i've been twisting and turning
in a space that's too small

james morrison
the pieces don't fit anymore

____________________________________________


no parachutes
no safety nets here
one foot on the water to face these fears
i'm coming out strong like i can't be wrong
i said hey i won't stall in the middle

cause you know you broke the hardest part
you know you broke the hardest heart
i'll never let this love fall in the puddle
through it all

mat kearney
in the middle

____________________________________________

it's late and i'm feeling so tired
having trouble sleeping
this consant compromise
between thinking and breathing

corinne bailey rae
trouble sleeping

____________________________________________

let me show you
what i'm made of
good intentions are not enough
to get me through today and this life

you can run from me
you can hide from me
but i'm right beside you
in this life

i'll give you all the things that i can never get
give you all i have and have no regret
take you to the places i've never been
forgive you all the things that you can't forget
take away the pain with my healing hands
wash away your sins and set your spirit free

chantel kreviazuk
in this life

too many hills

and so the inevitable happens again
as i got sick last weekend
to the very familiar symptoms of the flu
i seemed to get better much faster
i just needed call in sick for two days

however it wasn't fully recovery
not even now.

i'm trying to finish one thing to the next...
as the chinese saying goes
one hill hasn't stopped...
another hill rises...
not sure if hill is the right
word to use...

i got three weeks before i fly
sometimes i begin to wonder
if it's worth all the trouble
going over there to work...
i guess i'll soon find out...

i begin to feel like
i need a daybook...
to schedule all this stuff...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

good friday

did you ever wake up in and out of darkness
on a boat her veiled winds at your back?

sunny faded picture from your memory
jagged ridge for your path

were you lost inside the dream of another's choosing?
did the rhythm of your days become your foe?

were countless hours of pity like a blanket
that covered up the daylight from your soul?

were you hopeless at the thought of ever loving?
were you hounded by the curses in the dark?

did you ever give until you just quit feeling?
a castaway with a bottled heart

did you ever think the worst was bout to happen?
the river rise and waters of the flood

honestly another name for heartache
and fear like starlight shining from above

are you in the eleventh hour of your desperation?
can you dig through the tunnel and break through the night?

are you ready for the loosening of your chains?
that catch you in the shadows of your time

red guitar - ode to lonely

______________________________________________


trying to power away
to cross things listed on the list...
at least i'm getting somewhere...

it's a good friday...
time now is to spend remembering
why this friday is so good.

thank you for the cross.

signed up

'congrats on finishing the competition
and getting your life back!

until you sign up for the next crazy thing
to take over your life that is.'

as my friend wrote to me just a month ago...
and so the next crazy thing has taken over my life

working at one job is never enough for me
now i have 2...

i tell myself i can't miss opportunities like these
and then i come back to reality
and realize what these opportunities mean in reality

the opportunity is as follows:

$5.2 million mansion
requires $2 million in renovations
and the owner as now asked me to do it.

find an architect...
work with the architect through all phases
design with the architect
and report back to him
until it is complete.

seems like i landed my first contract.
a $2 million contract.
nothing is set in stone yet
and many things are still up in the air.

but the thing is...
i'm leaving to copenhagen in may
and i have to go back to halifax
in september
how am i supposed to work on this?

thus the 'crazy' thing
as it exists now as my new 'side' job
i've had many 'side' things

i remember in 2005
where i was working 3 jobs
1 main 2 sides

that was when i just got back
from my 5 week backpacking in europe

my health suffered

as one thing goes up...
others go down...
it all balances out doesn't it...

well as this is now going up...
what is going down...

as i begin to think about
my current main job
and then planning my copenhagen adventure
and the side job
the backburner is now school...

school being
the 6000 word work term paper...
and thesis research and topic creation...

many things...
one at a time...
it's just the beginning
of the next crazy thing
that i've signed myself up for.

don't lose heart

therefore
since we are surrounded by
such a great cloud of witnessess
let us throw off everything
that hinders and the sin
that so easily entangles

and let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us
fixing our eyes on jesus
the pioneer and perfecter of faith

for the joy set before him
he endured the cross
scorning its shame

and sat down at the right hand
of the throne of god

consider him who endured
such opposition from sinners
so that you will not grow
weary and lose heart

hebrews 12:1-3

gaining

today i notified my employer that i would be leaving
it took me the whole day
to sum up the courage
and to finally figure out to say
when asked any question whatsoever

may 6th to copenhagen
who's joining?

i've gained 7 pounds since i got back to toronto
must be all the eating...haha
and sitting at work...
and driving...
too much food!

________________________________________________


what am i to you
what are you to me
are we getting better
or did we used to be

what if the song
we used to sing

where are the souls
we used to carrying

what is a sail
without a hurricane

what is a hurt
without someone to blame

show me the sky
and i'll climb the stair

give me something
cuz i'm losing air

give me what it is you believe in
i give to you my truth
i got all my faith in you
i don't know which way we are going
doesn't matter anyway
just as long as you will stay

tell me the word
and i'll shout it out

for what is a voice
when in doubt

the world is changed
the world will change

lines

comfy corner weekends...
blokus...
halifax!

the days of work in and out
is quickly beginning to lose it's buzz

as the drama of life
i try to keep at a minimum...

the heart rate monitor
suffers few beats

the occasional hiccup
of situations
becomes the excitement of a day

it's somewhat like
the calm before the storm

with nothing rushing at work
no persistent schedules
no meetings
no special upcoming holidays
nothing to celebrate

it's like life in a straight line
for now that is...

6 things

i have been tagged to write
5 things people don't know about me

1
today i left work an hour early
by left...i mean sneaked out
because there was a
'something winter blues party'
at 4:30 and it was to meet new people
i was one of the new people...
but ehhh...didn't stay...
because...
once i saw the slide projector
in the party room...
i fled and completely forgot that this was
to introduce me and others to the firm
and later found out from my coworker
after the 'party' was over
that my name was announced...
heads turned...
the person who sits next to me was asked
she shruged her shoulders and said
'i don't know where he is'

2
when i was a kid
i took singing lessons...

3
i took calculus twice
because i thought 80% was too low
and ended up getting 82%
the second time around...
i just needed the midterm grade of 92%
and the i just slacked off the rest...
what a waste of time

4
i am thinking hard
about a thesis topic...

5
i don't know how to use excel
i can't stand the program
and all the formulas...
sometimes i can't
even print what i want from excel files...
augh!

6
i seriously let
what i'm doing
take over my life
just like that
thus getting severely anxious
stressed...tense...

nps

if you haven't already...

VOTE ZEIDLER!!!

http://www.thestar.com/Generic/Article/183774

my blood...sweat...and tears...

thanks all...

not that the vote determines the winner...
it may influence the jury however...

my one month's work is in there somewhere...

so long

happy chinese new year
_______________________________________

it's been 4 weeks
of a church deprived life

work filled

_______________________________________

as things come to a slow down
it feels like a racing car breaking
in full stop at the sight of the red light
being thrown from the seat
and into the street

now it's time to let go
of the breaks again

as it seems like this past month
has whipped past
coming to this complete stop
seems so foreign

actually everything seems foreign
i'm not used to it

as things seemed better back then
and with the roads cold and icy
slippery conditions lie ahead

i'd like to laugh a little more
think a little less
more lighthearted needed
less analysis

_______________________________________

slouched down listening to new songs
i've listened to too much of the same music
over and over and over when i was working...

i went through all those europe pictures...

i haven't had this time in so long...

that's it

not an ounce of energy left.

it has brought a rollercoster of ups and downs
and
right now i don't want to work on it anymore...
i've put in all that i can...
it's up to the rest of them to pull it together now

that's all for now...

soon...
very soon...
i'll hopefully have a regular schedule
under control...

okay...
no more.

overwork

more about work
a lot of the times
i produce a lot of unused material
and i.e. that would be crap no?

seems like a lot of wasted time...
but i can convince myself that
sometimes even when things don't get used
in the end
they have helped to achieve the end result

i didn't get a weekend this past week
and in about a month
i've worked a 5 weeks worth of hours...

arrg...must sleep...
nite