live on

blocked from all sides

plauged by restlessness
____________________________________________

things never happen like i wish they could
only in my dreams
i've never been willing to give up my heart
or let myself believe
but i have been waiting all of my life
and this time i'm hoping
holding out for you
to let me see the light

make me a believer for once in my life
right here and now
touch me somehow
i'm down on my knees
i don't know how but i'm ready to see
clear every shadow of doubt in my mind
because i want to believe
____________________________________________

spent an afternoon feeling sorry for myself
...whenever i have nothing to do
i sort of go into this state...
from solid to liquid to vapour

i was lifted after
returning to my fellowship
whom i haven't seen in four months
very glad to catch up with all of them
sort of forget of all my own
small and huge dilemmas

but come on...
what have i to fret...?

haha...so much...so much...
laughter covers pain
as a bandage to a wound
or as white out to mistakes

if only i could always remain laughing
...though not the way it's meant to be

i don't want the present to persist
and i don't want to relive my past
and i want to see the future as already over

i live to suffice your expectations
i try to make you feel better
i give to fulfill your needs

i need...i need
to live for a little more for myself...?

one part says yes
the other part says i haven't done enough...
or anything at all