courage

i was asked yesterday
if i wanted to live happily ever after...

i thought about...
and some more

and now...
perhaps
i'm thinking no
i don't

more and more i think about how i want to live
what i want to accomplish
and what it takes to accomplish it
even if
it means giving up a happily ever after
i think i'm willing
____________________________________________

one last night of fun and games
in my home town

summary of my 20 days back at home
going out too much...
not enough time for myself
that's what it's always like here
going out
meeting people
doing things
scheduling scheduling...and more scheduling...

whatever's left in the schedule
is my own time...
which is now...during 2am...3am...
i haven't had much sleep
nor am i in a working mode at this time of day

the table littered with all
that i know will be cleared in 2 more days

family has been more than awsome
likewise for friends
____________________________________________

i would never undo the past
that made me
even when the memories hurt
it would only make me feel worse
if i were to run away
time flies and wipes away
all my regrets

with courage in my name
it's time to for me to live up to it.