what happened

sadly i have nothing to run to
but my cold computer

as the day went on
situations got worse

i feel i was the spark to
a mass storage of dynamite
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my brother says it's inevitable
he says this was waiting for everyone to be home
without communication
without understanding
this family is not holding together
and i don't believe any of them have been trying
to understand each others
i wish not to be included
and i can only grasp slightly what they are thinking

bandaged wounds only wait
to be torn off to reveal whats beneath

and as this bandage is now ripped off
i can only do my best to heal

yet my efforts are not enough
because the wounds are only dug deeper
how i wish they would help

why am i not returning to what i left behind
what have these two months brought in my home
that i don't know

if i didn't leave would it be like this
and when i leave
what will happen
i only have five days left to do what i can

and when i do leave
my heart will not get rest
i have no relief

waiting...
this was only waiting...
what can i do lord...
i simply don't know.

why can't we understand
why do we do this
what am i to do...

stop yelling
as one yell responds with another

not being yelled at
but as i keep absorbing
my damage only deepens

no one wants to give an inch
i'm sorry...
take my mile...

in through the door
and gone in five minutes

love you dad said
as i watched him drive away
with my strength drained
come back i said

as i don't know who to console
as i don't know how i can
as i don't know or care who is right or wrong
as i no longer know what to say
i can only ask for you all to pray

that's all i can do for now
what i only have strength for
i have to be strong for all of us
i must