should not be here

no...
i'm not supposed to be sitting in front of my computer
on my reading week back home from halifax

things have gone absolutely sour
and now i sit here
i have no mood at all to do anything
no fun or going out at all

the cause of all this is not lacking hot water
the hot water tank is no longer functional
and this brought about major
family issues

why did i even come home
my first thought was if i wasn't home
would this have happened?
i know i like to first blame myself

the story is
we discover there's no hot water
okay
i check it out

no hot water
my dad comes home
he can't fix it

call water company to fix it
so i call and they will be here
between 10-2
so i had to cancel my lunch with my
grandparents and sit at home to wait
not a problem
i reschedule lunch

my brother and i at home waiting from 10-2 to be fixed
would have went out to lunch together
after it was fix
but not anymore

then the person comes at 1:40 and says
that the entire water tank needs to be replaced
okay i was busy on the phone trying
to solve my inaccurate billing for my cell phone
brother talked to the repair technician

my brother is told that they will come
tomoro with a new tank to be installed
well okay
i'm not ticked
nor is my brother

i call to inform my parents
and my dad is completely thrown off
telling me that i should have demanded it
be fixed right away

i try to explain it to him how they can't
and he doesn't understand
so he hangs up
and so the first phone call ends

he calls back to ask me to call the water company
and demand that they fix it today

since i didn't talk to the technician myself
i hand the phone to my brother
which i absolutely regret now

my father being ticked
and my brother having many issues he's dealing with

my brother tries to explain how it can't be fixed today
my dad doesn't care
and hangs up on him

then my brother goes on a rampage
seeming like hell breaks loose from that point

i was shocked at how angry my brother got
and i wasn't too happy at how my dad delt with
both our conversations

so i felt the need to call him to tell him that
brother is really angry that he got hung up on
by his own father

and so i do call
but before that
my mom calls back
okay
my mom is not too happy that it will take
another day to fix...
but she can tolerate it
she has no big issues
and so i tell her the situation between my dad and brother
she laughs
and i tell her i'm going to call dad about it
and she already tells me that my dad will not
feel the least bit sorry

i think i have super human powers to mend
all situations and to bring order to the world

so i doubt my mom's way of thinking
and i call my dad trying to explain what
going on

i called telling him
brother's not too happy because you hung up on him
and that was the point he became very defensive
he says no i didn't hang up
the conversation was over

i tell him that he shouldn't do that
and he got more defensive
that we should understand him
and all the things he has to do
and that we shouldn't be upset over something like that
he lets no sympathy seep out of him

he was going to hang up
but i said you're not going to hang up on me
you will not

and so okay
he says that my brother and i are westerners
and that i need to talk to him in chinese
okay...sure
i didn't even notice that i was speaking in english

and then he goes on
saying that we should have delt with the water person better
and water this water that

and i say that it's not about the water
it's not about it being fix tomorrow or today
my underlying point is that
you shouldn't hang up on your kids

sure i understand how much you do
but it doesn't justify your actions

and he repeateldy asks
when do i know
this conversation is over?

and i was lost with my words
trying ever so hard to compose myself
i just said
we're your kids
and i didn't the chance to say
we're not your clients

conversation over

never having a conversation like that ever before
i have completely broken down

and my brother tops it off
by saying to me
'welcome home to the family'

thanks...made my day
made my entire week too

i should have never come back here

and i will not give up on trying
to mend a situation
and i'm not giving up on this one either

i'm not going to hold back on showing how
horrible they've made me

i've done so many times before
not tonight
_______________________________________________

other than all that crap i have suffered from my family

truthfully
they're actually great
with a major exception of today