2005

is it still 2005?

there seems to be no end to this year
yet weeks seem to pass by fast.

an uncountable number of things have happened
critical things

i've been wanting to call 2005 the year of all my years before
and today has finally made it that day

the highest of highs
the lowest of lows
all in 2005

the year hasn't ended yet
already given and taken away so much

quarter life year 2005
if i get to live long

i can't wait for march 29, 2006.
____________________________________________

i couldn't concentrate today
probably because my head hurt
a bump on the back of my head
that i don't know where it came from

and then...

who me?
i couldn't fall asleep when
they told me i got an award on through email
they sent me two emails but no mention of what i won

i called
she didn't tell me
and told me to wait
so i waited more than a week

calling home everyday to see if i got mail
what could they possibly give me?
me?

the highest overall.
highest!?
no way...
you gotta be kidding

haha...no kidding
no kidding

and i couldn't hold in
from laughing the whole day through
right now too
haha...

incredible shock and disbelief

i'm thinking
this does not only belong to me
it sounds very typical at award ceremonies
people will say that

but really
thank God.
for everything.

my parents.
for staying up,
for helping me focus on school,
for words,
for too much.

my grandparents.
for looking after me,
for care,
for cooking.

my friends.
for help when i needed,
for sticking with me,
for a memorable experience.

thank you, you, and you.

i thought to myself last year.
i didn't do as well as i wanted in third year.
it was really tough.

i told myself to do better this year.
still i never expected this to happen.

this is incredible.