my day off

today is the exact opposite of my ideal day off of work

GRE = the results are in.

none of the words i studied were on the exam.
hahahahaha.....so stupid
so many words that i didn't study were on!
why are there so many words in the english language!?!
my conclusion is:
you can't study for the vocab section.
it's a wasted effort.
whatever you knew before
is the knowledge that is brought into the exam

it is only 30 question
in 30 minutes!?!

arg...and for so many questions there's a long passage to read
with super long questions and way too long multiple choice answers.
it would take 5 min to read and fully understand the passage and another minite each to read the question and choices.

freaked out that i didn't have enough time i began to randomly
select answers.

there's no time....and you can't move to the next question without answering
that was a crazy exam.

and yes.
my randomly selected answers i would think were mostly wrong
because i didn't end up with a high score or even an average score
i scored below average.

aauggghhh

to my surprise i did really well on the math section
when i did the practice tests i scored average for both the verbal and quantitative parts

on the exam i did much better in the quantitative part!
haha...

it balances out...

i still need the results for the written part
i think i did well on.

and then there's post GRE
driving here, driving there

rain....some more rain....rain
and work

i got to catch up on my work for work
from home.

this is no day off i left home slightly later.
and i got home slightly earlier.

i need sleep.
desperately.

but no.
got to keep working.

and again, the month is over.

what is going on here?

just turn the music up really loud
so you can't think.

that'll do it.

ebullience

GRE!!!!! go away!!!!!!!!!

arg...studying for the exam makes me realize
how much i don't want to ever take exams again.

so tough...!!
i'm on my own here this time...nobody to call to ask
although i can...but nah.
who wants to deal with these math questions
and english vocab.

so hard...!!
those stupid words that nobody knows anyways
but my brother seemed to know all the words i tested him with
he even knows what canonical means!
haha....grrrr...

who would have known
that diatribe means harsh denunciation
or nolsome means bad smelling
assuage means to lessen

who cares!?

i have a premonition that i will be giving the GRE a good diatribe soon
because right now i can already tell that it is nolsome
ya it smells really bad

and i don't know what will assuage the pain...hahaha

wow...putting words into practice makes me remember them so much easier

really i should get back to studying...
but how much am i remembering.

reaching saturation...

time

there is a time for everything
and a season for every activity under heaven

a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to uproot
a time to kill and a time to heal
a time to tear down and a time to build
a time to weep and a time to laugh
a time to mourn and a time to dance
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them
a time to embrace and a time to refrain
a time to search and a time to give up
a time to keep and a time to throw away
a time to tear and a time to mend
a time to be silient and a time to speak
a time to love and a time to hate
a time for war and a time for peace

what does the worker gain from his toil?
i have seen the burden God has laid on men
He has made everything beautiful in his time
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end

i know that there is nothing better for men than be happy
and do good while they live

that everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil
this is a gift of God

i know that everything God does will endure forever
nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it

God does it so men will revere Him.

ecclesiastes 3:1-14

city and colour

so there goes my life
passing by with every exit sign
and it's been so long
sometimes i wonder how long i will stay strong
no sleep tonight

i'll keep driving these dark highway lines
and as the moon fades
one more night gone
only twenty more days
but i will see you again
a long time from now

there goes my life
passing by with every departing flight
and it's been so hard
so much time
so far apart

as she walks the night
how many hearts will die tonight?
will things have changed?

i guess i'll find out in seventeen days
but i will see you again
a long time from now

my body aches
and it hurts to sing
and no one is moving
and i wish that i weren't here tonight

but this is my life

city and colour - hello, i'm in delaware

take a step back

i feel i've found my church
i've found my fellowship
and i've found sunday school

i think it's the way it should be
i don't know if it the way God meant it to be

sunday school ends with me learning
and remembering what he said

what a great teacher
a great teacher is someone who has people listening acutely
and leaves an impression on the mind
and enables the student to apply what is learned

that is my idea of a great teacher

i learned more from sunday school than from the sermon
about who i am and who i want to be

i ache to be a leader
i want to know what i'm doing
i want a grand vision
i want to achieve it as well
i get lost at work
i know i'm learning
it's hard for me to be in a low position
yet i know i can't start from the top

i'm still in awe at the way he has affected me
praise the Lord.
________________________________________

yea...

alrite
okay.

i'm still thinking about what
my buddy and i discussed on our road trip.
you know what.

relax...

whatever will be will be.
take a step back
and look at the big picture

come on...
didn't architecture teach me anything?

image of the architect

good to know sad to hear

i think i'm rediscovering what a friend means
even though i was stuck in traffic for so many hours
and me as the driver
it was okay

i had a friend to talk to all the way through.
i'm glad we got the time to discuss what was going on with both of us.
i like talking one to one as opposed to in groups
and at least an hour for any discussion
to get somewhere
where you feel that you've actually learned something
or your view changes
or you feel something has been accomplished.

it's quite seldom these days

so many
myself included

concerned with daily tasks, chores
just doing and getting done
i'm sick of it

the repetitiveness makes me numb

we go through
laughing like mad
being sad for each other
what we think about the future

although the concert sucked
not entirely...but in general...haha
it's okay
he helped me
and i hope that i did the same

i think it's still money and time well spent.

drained

and all is not well in the world.

one piece at a time.

the heart is heavy,

the mind is to capacity.

there is more...but ya...
not now.

go figure

i wrote a post i'm not going to publish...
arg...

always this way...
during my supposedly happiest moments
can't seem to be happy for myself

anyways.
_____________________________________________

two words that need to be taken out of the dictionary

'tired' and 'busy'

it seems like everybody i talk with
say one or both words.

what else is new.
_____________________________________________

enough of that.
my complaints are unecessary.

i'm feeling much better...no more dizzyness
got the award today...
and possibly a raise tomoro...

what more do you want...
maybe sleep...
and maybe i need some time
to figure what i'm doing
and where i'm going

getting cold

friends long absent are coming back to you.

my fortune cookie read.

why give me hope i wonder sometimes.

can't wait.
______________________________________

i still get dizzy now and then...
i don't feel i'm sick
no cold, no flu

don't know what it is.

the leaves are almost all fallen off the branches
the ground is half golden half green.

and yet again,
the weekend has past.
and yet again,
feels like the work week is already over
before it has began.

2005

is it still 2005?

there seems to be no end to this year
yet weeks seem to pass by fast.

an uncountable number of things have happened
critical things

i've been wanting to call 2005 the year of all my years before
and today has finally made it that day

the highest of highs
the lowest of lows
all in 2005

the year hasn't ended yet
already given and taken away so much

quarter life year 2005
if i get to live long

i can't wait for march 29, 2006.
____________________________________________

i couldn't concentrate today
probably because my head hurt
a bump on the back of my head
that i don't know where it came from

and then...

who me?
i couldn't fall asleep when
they told me i got an award on through email
they sent me two emails but no mention of what i won

i called
she didn't tell me
and told me to wait
so i waited more than a week

calling home everyday to see if i got mail
what could they possibly give me?
me?

the highest overall.
highest!?
no way...
you gotta be kidding

haha...no kidding
no kidding

and i couldn't hold in
from laughing the whole day through
right now too
haha...

incredible shock and disbelief

i'm thinking
this does not only belong to me
it sounds very typical at award ceremonies
people will say that

but really
thank God.
for everything.

my parents.
for staying up,
for helping me focus on school,
for words,
for too much.

my grandparents.
for looking after me,
for care,
for cooking.

my friends.
for help when i needed,
for sticking with me,
for a memorable experience.

thank you, you, and you.

i thought to myself last year.
i didn't do as well as i wanted in third year.
it was really tough.

i told myself to do better this year.
still i never expected this to happen.

this is incredible.