have some faith!

it's the 23 already?  booo...
when working time seems to fly...i don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing as i was discussing with a co-worker.  it's good that work time goes by fast, but then there's so much to complete that i don't want the workload to become like compound interest.
there's so much in my mind, i need a break, i hear much, i read much, i see much, my mind always analyzing, trying to figure something out.
tonite was great, a speaker called joe boot came to church to talk about world views, very intriguing!  he's an evangelist and apologist, an apologist is not somebody who goes around apologizing in what they believe, but defending it.  his defense for Christianity is intense and powerful.  living without God utterly makes no sense to me at all.  are we all just bunches of atoms running around in chaos?  no meaning no purpose?  then does it matter if somebody went around killing the people around them?  no, life then becomes meaningless, he/she becomes a bunch of atoms destroing a bunch of atoms, that does not matter at all.  nothing matters, everybody is then reduced to the level of even the mosquito, it doesn't matter it the mosquito lives, or dies.  it, and every human on earth were to live meaninglessly = to an ant.  we are more than just atoms that came from a big bang of nothing, into something.  nothing into something?  will a chair in 10 million years become a whole universe?  no.  give it 100 million years, the chair will become a human?  that's evolution.  everything created from nothing in a lot of time.  Christianity, the belief solely relying on the Word of God, the Bible, is the greatest defense of a Christian.  has anybody disproved anything in the Bible?  no.  would the Bible still make sense thousands years from today?  yes.  technology changes, but not the human heart.  in fact i'm trying to make sense of all i heard today myself.  this is my world view.  do i believe in God?  of course.  no God?  then basically we are just bunches of atoms running around?  many people go around saying "i don't believe in God, i believe in myself."  believe in yourself?  really?  what does that actually mean?  believe in yourself?  so then one day, death comes knocking, and eventually, the atoms that run into each other, eventually having no meaning, finished, end.  would i try to pretend there's some sort of meaning, without a God, sort of putting things together to make some sense of life?  "i believe life is to be lived to the fullest."  "i believe that we are to make a difference in life." living to the fullest?  what is the fullest?  who determines what fullest is?  yourself?  then die and nothing becomes of nothing. to make a difference?  to what?  making a difference to a bunch of atoms that eventually becomes nothing?  sounds good?  errrr?  the fate of humanity is not like the fate of the mosquito.  there is truth, we search for it...we think we know, or maybe just never thought of it at all.  just living each day trying to be happy.  step into my world view.  there's so much to know to learn, the truth is i don't know much myself.  i hear, and make out what i think is true what is false.  i've made this out to be true.  do you believe i tell the truth?  Christianity is not a superstition, i don't believe in it for no real reason.  the reasons are many.  countless.  have faith!  =) 
 
so so sleepy rite now...i want to write so much more...i do, but my eyes don't...haha...
i will tomoro