unresolved

got this bad feeling of restlessness this moment
it's been building up

the feeling of unsatisfaction has gripped me whole
the loss of direction in most ways

i know i need to work
and work hard
just a month ago i couldn't care less
about how thesis turns out
as long as i passed

and now...
i have this feeling that i need to do it well
a surmounting pressure on myself
that this is my last chance

what happened.
why do i care

when i do something
anything
that i got to put my mind and heart to it
and do it well

i noticed that i don't usually participate
in things i'm not good at

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i think of doing things
that many times i don't do.

i wish sometimes i can help
that i have some comforting words to offer.

i'm a coward though.
i avoid when i know i should confront
i am silent when i know i should talk

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how will i be as an architect?
how many more years will it take?
3? 4?
the road is so long
and by the end of it...
i hope i would not have gone down the wrong path
take the easy way

there's no easy way of becoming an architect
but after
the choice is mine to make
on what kind of architect i become

even to think that i will become one someday
is distant and odd...
how draining...

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speaking of draining...
this cold i've caught is draining...

no motivation to do work
procrastinating my way through the days...

GET TO WORK!

it's gonna be one of those years of accomplishments
i can feel it...
just when i resolved to do otherwise...
augh.