you're the best

thanks mr wong
you've made my day
even though this card is more than one month late
it is very much appreciated
it arrived at a great time.

sadly you're over there in hk.
but then i don't think our friendship would have grown
you didn't leave.

thanks sir.

i can say the same to you and more
definitely.


and o!

thanks very much for your cards
....haha
i'll send you cards very soon!


take care over there in seattle.

gettin better

as long as i can lord

i exhausted.

i go on.

endless road

this is a song that i've been listening to for a couple days...
beware: you may be saddened after reading...
and after listening to the song...you will
__________________________________________


the truth is tearing up my heart
i can't recognize this place
the endless road without a stop sign
can't even find a stranger this time

why am i
still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seams a wonder
how we could be together

every time i ask
if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this...

i think...
i never will...

a crystal forming in the eye
mayebe this would be the last
the winding path down my face
till i begin to taste the bitterness inside

why am i
still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seams a wonder
how we could be together

every time i ask
if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this...

i think...
i never will...

bittersweet

each night it's hard to fall asleep
every morning i wake up with unrest

nothing is wrong

and i don't think i could ask for more
____________________________________________

i wanted to translate some chinese lyrics onto here
but i don't think i have the right words

i know people come and go
and they don't come back
and i know i can only smile and watch them leave

i think about you some nights
but what can i do
even if i ran into you
would you be as happy as i am

best to you
yet another

if you could see me smiling

it's been a while
a whole week since i haven't written here

it's one of those days where i feel nothing can bring me down

it's been so good
i don't think i can use words to describe it

'i don't believe in 'good days' and 'bad days'
after reading the book called 'the discipline of grace'

everyday can be as good as the next one
if you can put it into perspective

my blessings today did not depend on my performance before
and everyday is a good one with the knowledge of being saved

you and me
are good enough for His grace

this year in the past months
if you've read anything from before
you might know that i hadn't been doing too well

going through change
diappointments
self-conciousness
led me to dispair

right now the things that cause me grief
don't bother me

what happened today?
what's happening today?
and how will this day end?

not just today
but recently
i have become very comfortable with
who i am
what i do
what i believe

case one of 'His grace'

i've recently reached out to a friend
who has been going through relational problems
which is quite serious in my mind
he told me he was going back to church because of this
but i knew his faith is weak
God put it in my heart to reach out
and i know what it feels like to be reached out to
'woah, somebody actually cares.'
such encouragement

as i have cried out to God
'what have i done for you'

He answered me repeatedly since i've asked
i now ask
'what more can i do?'

case two of 'His grace'

i haven't been doing really well spirutually
during this phase of changing churches

but someone has come along my way
and refreshed my relationship with God

case three of 'His grace'

i'll do 5 cases
too many to list all of them

if you look carefully in a day
there are most likely too many to list

today i talked to a friend i haven't talked to in months
and i couldn't imagine what i was saying was coming from me
i've learned so much this year
i've grown up plenty as well

he wasn't feeling well
and i understand where he's coming from
i told him whoever you are
whatever you do
is what God intended you to be
don't run away from yourself
there's a reason for it all
trust me

he told me that he'll find his way to God

i told him that it feels like i've found a long lost friend

case four of 'His grace'

it was hard to believe myself
i didn't go on an intended trip on sunday
doesn't mean i wasted away doing nothing =)

i went with my mom and an auntie who gambles
as her occupation to the mall
she's very lost in direction
and finds it hard to find 'good people' anymore
she's been disappointed far too many times

i asked my mom in the car to go to church
not only did she agree
but she asked auntie to go with her
after much convincing
they will both go to church with me
beginning october

please pray that this comes true
because i know it can fall through

case five of 'His grace'

today, in a long long time
we are gathered at home
to eat dinner

back together again

finally the client has left
and we can return back to 'normal'
no business was done
a lot of wasted time, evergy, and effort

i'm somewhat thankful for that
my dad has been arrogant
thinking he had this big deal going on
so things will slowly become
what it was like in the past

and they will live happily ever after

if you could see me smiling.

carry on without me

be the first to reach out
in thanking, forgiving, loving, learning, helping, mending

the first so many times
i don't want to reach

arm is tired, injured, strained, weak, frail
_______________________________________

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven?
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven?

i must be strong
and carry on,
'cause i know i don't belong
here in heaven.

would you hold my hand
if i saw you in heaven?
would you help me stand
if i saw you in heaven?

i'll find my way
through night and day
'cause i know i just can't stay
here in heaven

time can bring you down
time can bend your knees
time can break your heart
have you begging please, begging please

beyond the door
there's peace i'm sure,
and i know there'll be no more
tears in heaven.

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven?
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven?

i must be strong
and carry on
'cause i know i don't belong
here in heaven

eric clapton - tears in heaven

a simple yes
can make all the difference in the world

a world so big

it was a great day at church today
i missed church last week

i was looking forward to going today
i went to my tutors church
it was a great message
along with really friendly people
the friendliest greeting i've ever had

she introduced me to her friends
as her past student
and i tell them i'm still her student
- life long learning

we went for lunch and she came over after lunch
i've updated her and she's updated me on our respective lives

we have a lot in common although we have a large age gap
and i really enjoy her respect and knowledge
how she thinks about issues

she's someone i look to
on outlook in life

'believe in yourself
in your talents and skills
that have brought you
this special day

believe in yourself
in your God-given gifts
and your faith will help show
you the way

believe in yourself
and your own heart
will tell you the dreams and goals
to pursue

believe in yourself
you're someone unique
with no limit
to what you can do'

today the sermon got me most
when she talked about what we do for God
and that has been the question on my mind

she used the analogy of basketball
i've never shot a basket in myself

and she said the people even on the sidelines
are very important

again i was reminded
even for a few minutes a day,

to look at the sky
and how big the world is
and problems will melt away

thanks.

on the run

what's this inside me?

i don't know

a big jumble of stuff running through my head

i would like to write it all...but i can't
and if you ask why i can't say either

lately i've been confronted with a lot of problems

none of my own...

i have enough already running on the backburner

in a sense i'm learning a lot from other people
and in another way
i feel really bad

i felt really good when i helped
and you know what?
i am trying my best

and i was so glad when i was thanked
that my effort is appreciated
it means a lot

and then i remembered
people who've been shown kindness
are only then capable of doing the same
____________________________________________

where has my dad been?

augh...maybe i should be telling him instead...
but he's not around...
i haven't seen him for more than a week now
he's busy working on a big 'deal' with a client

busy going to casinos
i'd be happier if he told me he told me he got a new hobby
but i find out he's shooting guns for a hobby

i mean....
i don't know anymore

as the son am i supposed to reach out?
this is heavier than i can handle.
____________________________________________

it's the long weekend
i've gotta get my time organized

i need to know what i need to be doing
and yes...i'll be working on that portfolio

and yes...thanks for the push
____________________________________________

ever had a heart sinking moment?

i had one today.

byeee...
augh...
____________________________________________

i won't run away...