all i can

when you're on your own
when you're at a fork in the road
you don't know which way to go
there's too many signs and arrows

you haven't laughed in a while
when you can't even fake a smile
when you feel ashamed
the uniform don't make you brave

all i can do is
love you to pieces
give you a shoulder to cry
when you need it

when the day is long
and the night is coming down on you
when you forget your name
the pleasure can't disguise your pain
and you don't feel the same
i won't forget the love you made

what a lovely day to shape your dreams
and you don't even have to sleep
you can make it what you want to be

you can fly away
you can change your name
have a happy face
it can be so real

all i can do

chantel kreviazuk

meaningful

this christmas is really different
from the previous christmas years

no party organizing
no present buying
no big gatherings
no snow
no christmas tree
no cold weather
no christmas music playing

i began to think about chrismas a different way
to all those celebrating
there are many others
who don't
who can't
who won't

no invitations
no presents
nobody to give to

then what happens

what about doing something meaningful
what about talking about something worth your time
since returning to toronto
i've felt strongly
that it isn't about what we have
or how much of it
or who has this and who doesn't

i'll come back to this...

narration

'i can't do this all on my own
i'm no superman'

the theme song to scrubs

the show cracks me up.
it's a very down to earth show
and human in many ways.

i feel like i do the exact same thing as dr. dorian...
i narrate my life...

__________________________________________________


yesterday i got two christmas cards in the mail
the first one of the coolest cards i've seen
you turn this wheel and the snowflake becomes a star
at first i thought it was more of an advertisement
than a christmas card
then i opened to see that it was from my previous firm
with all their names signed all over

however
my name isn't on the card
and so the people signing the card
don't even know who the card goes out to
as the hundreds they sign
the only thought could be
how many more are there

the second one
honestly i wasn't so impressed
but words from a friend on the inside
make it much more meaningful than the first
it could just as well be a piece of paper with words
and it could well surpass the first

and then
taking a look at the back of the card
it says it was painted by mouth
by someone with disability

the irony
the first made by a large corporation
the second made for charity

__________________________________________________

everyday is made up of tests

some are tests of character
some are tests of fortitude
some are tests of friendship

it's the kid inside of us that keeps us from going crazy
it's the nervous laughter that keeps us sane
it's to help others to let us know we have a purpose
it's to let ourselves be helped so that we are reminded
we can't do everything on our own

christmas eh

still sitting at home
recovering recovering yet again.

a great chance to watch more tv

the christmas tree isn't up for the first time
can't go out to do christmas shopping...
then again
what is christmas really about eh

and that time to contact everybody
and stay in touch may just about fall through.

yea...well...
that's for me not knowing the meaning of rest

i passed another term
never want to come into contact
with that ridiculous course again

finally...my horrible headache is finally gone!
i hope it doesn't come back...
hot and cold hasn't hit me in the past 3 hours.
all i need now is energy.

again

arrr...
sick again...

sucks.

may i

sleep sleep sleep

it's that day of rest i've been wanting
yet i fill it up with multi tasking to death.

up the stairs down the stairs
inside going outside
pack
move
organize
lift
carry

i'm tired.
my throat is sore.
i feel like i'm gonna drop.

no more

no more please...
it comes the time again...
where pressures and stresses lead to bizzare happenings
you wonder why you're doing that
or you wonder how you're doing that

and then in the blink of an eye
it will all be over
and just go...
that wasn't so bad...

it's just the pain and agony right now
to finish

december is always the same isn't it
sort of want time just to slow down
rather than push forward

one thing after the next
as one event requires the next
as if one domino falls to push another

as if the stresses of life
need to come find me now
as if i were standing alone on a small island
with my arms stretched out
screaming pick me

somehow
some way
this is beyond me
and beyond my own comprehension

'in the evening
when the work of the day is done
and you have time to sit in the twilight
and watch the sinking sun
while the long bright day dies slowly
over the sea
and the hours grow quite and holy
with thoughts of me'

somehow
i know in my month off
lacking deadlines
and school...work pressures
i will fall into thoughts...

for now...
i will enjoy the lack thereof.

規勸

攔路雨偏似雪花 飲泣的你凍嗎
這風褸我給你磨到有襟花
連調了職也不怕 怎麼始終牽掛
苦心選中今天想車你回家
原諒我不再送花 傷口應要結疤
花辦鋪滿心裡墳場才害怕
如若你非我不嫁 彼此終必火化
一生一世等一天需要代價

誰都只得那雙手 靠擁抱亦難任你擁有
要擁有必先懂失去怎接受
曾沿著雪路浪遊 為何為好事淚流
誰能憑愛意要富士山私有
何不把悲哀感覺 假設是來自你虛構
試管裡找不到它染污眼眸
前塵硬化像石頭 隨緣地拋下便逃走
我絕不罕有 往街裡繞過一周
我便化烏有

情人節不要說穿 只敢撫你髮端
這種姿態可會令你更心酸
留在汽車裡取暖 應該怎麼規勸
怎麼可以將手腕忍痛劃損
人活到幾歲算短 失戀只有更短
歸家需要幾里路誰能預算
忘掉我跟你恩怨 櫻花開了幾轉
東京之旅一早比一世遙遠

你還嫌不夠
我把這陳年風褸
送贈你解咒

富士山下
eason chan

_______________________________________________

one week left...
hang in there...